Oil -- Today it was announced that Obama is proposing that we go ahead and do that offshore drilling that the Republicans were screaming for in the 2008 elections. At first I was infuriated, this was one of the [many] reasons I did not want McCain/Palin in the white house. It's just a bad idea. And then I started thinking, why is Obama proposing this? He knows the people that voted for him are against this, why would he do something so inexplicably stupid and very possibly lose their votes? That's when it hit me, strategy. The right can't stand him, refuse to concede or work with him on anything. Is this perhaps an evil plot to make them look like fools. Two years ago their mantra was "drill baby, drill!", now that it's Obama proposing will their mantra be "no drill baby, no drill!" It's only a good idea when they want to do it but not when "we" want to do it. Is it a ploy just to be able to point a finger and say "see the right will disagree with anything that comes from me". Immature, yes. Pragmatic, perhaps. Will it work? I think it will backfire. No good can come of this no matter which way this goes. We shouldn't be doing this back and forth playground bickering. Politicians grow up, grow some balls and Mr. Obama it's time to step up and stick to your promises, you know all those things you said on the campaign that got you that landslide of an election. Otherwise the right will win and in 2012 we will be right back where we started, being run into the ground by the Republican party and heaven help us Palin could be at the wheel.
Envy -- Since I hadn't worked out in 4-5 days I had to workout today. I noticed last night that Hulu now carries programs from FitTV. I am getting bored with the netflix videos so thought why not check out what hulu has. There is a program called Envy. There are 5 videos in this series from the producers of Carmen Electra's striptease (which ps I did like but reached a plateau with it). 1-Body of Envy, 2-Buns of Envy, 3-Legs of Envy, 4-Arms of Envy, & 5-Abs of Envy. Now what I like about this is circuit training and that there are 5 videos so you have a different workout Monday-Friday and break on the weekend. Even though it is I started with the first video. I can tell you this, the warm up is a bit intense and they don't tell you what you are going to be doing so you have to watch carefully. If you are new to working out skip using the hand weight during warm up. The rest of the work out was good, very repetitious which can get boring but intense! My abs, arms, buns, glutes all feel like they got a good workout in about 20-25 minutes plus the added benefit of cardio while working means better calorie burning. I plan to start the C25K plan one of these days. Need to be able to 1) find a way to run that isn't late in the evening and 2) afford a good pair of running shoes.
Wednesday, March 31, 2010
Tuesday, March 30, 2010
Say what now?
I have been telling my husband about my mission for the school food revolution. He has been very interested in what I have been finding out and is now just as deeply immersed in it as I am. We (or rather he) have been digging into our school district information and comparing with our sister (mother?) district. It is shocking what we have found, and not just in regards to the food.
Students in our district are testing well below the state average where the Shelton district is nearly on target with the state. Now tell me this, Jared is testing higher than the students in our district but I guess wasn't testing as high as state average and this is why our principle wanted to not allow him to advance? Bullshit I say. If he is testing higher than the students in his grade level, which means he tested higher than the students that were previously in his level (based on what we found) wouldn't that indicate he should actually have been advanced a grade level? No wonder the 7th grade class is still being taught down to and he is above them. This infuriates me to no end that she would try to hold him back. Makes me even more thankful the other district principle was very willing to work with us. It also means Jared will definitely be getting challenged next year.
Next we checked out the school budget to see what is being spent per student on food in each district. Shelton district school lunch consists of 2 main courses to chose from, plus salad bar, fresh fruit, fresh raw veggies. Our district lunch consists of 1 "protein" 2 breads and a fruit or vegetable. Our district is spending MORE per student on food for less options and unhealthy options than the other district is for more food with healthy options. How is this even possible? It really truly makes no sense to me at all. Change is exactly what this school needs and utilizing their own gardens as well as the Farm to School program will help immensely.
So, despite my proclamation to do absolutely nothing tomorrow but knit an sit on my ass, I may actually drive my kids in to school so I can ask the principle if she would allow me to tour the kitchen facilities and then go to the district office to schedule an appt with the Super to discuss my concerns over the school meals and what we can do to change them.
Oh yeah remember that exercise kick I was on? I haven't worked out in 4 days now. Between the spring cleaning, organizing and massive baking there has been no time and no energy. I am hoping to jump back into it this week. I actually miss it. I can feel the lack of energy and concentration from not working out and taking my supplements. What a major difference it has made on me in just the short amount of time I was exercising. Anyways that is all for tonight, I am amazed my brain functioned long enough to get this post out.
Students in our district are testing well below the state average where the Shelton district is nearly on target with the state. Now tell me this, Jared is testing higher than the students in our district but I guess wasn't testing as high as state average and this is why our principle wanted to not allow him to advance? Bullshit I say. If he is testing higher than the students in his grade level, which means he tested higher than the students that were previously in his level (based on what we found) wouldn't that indicate he should actually have been advanced a grade level? No wonder the 7th grade class is still being taught down to and he is above them. This infuriates me to no end that she would try to hold him back. Makes me even more thankful the other district principle was very willing to work with us. It also means Jared will definitely be getting challenged next year.
Next we checked out the school budget to see what is being spent per student on food in each district. Shelton district school lunch consists of 2 main courses to chose from, plus salad bar, fresh fruit, fresh raw veggies. Our district lunch consists of 1 "protein" 2 breads and a fruit or vegetable. Our district is spending MORE per student on food for less options and unhealthy options than the other district is for more food with healthy options. How is this even possible? It really truly makes no sense to me at all. Change is exactly what this school needs and utilizing their own gardens as well as the Farm to School program will help immensely.
So, despite my proclamation to do absolutely nothing tomorrow but knit an sit on my ass, I may actually drive my kids in to school so I can ask the principle if she would allow me to tour the kitchen facilities and then go to the district office to schedule an appt with the Super to discuss my concerns over the school meals and what we can do to change them.
Oh yeah remember that exercise kick I was on? I haven't worked out in 4 days now. Between the spring cleaning, organizing and massive baking there has been no time and no energy. I am hoping to jump back into it this week. I actually miss it. I can feel the lack of energy and concentration from not working out and taking my supplements. What a major difference it has made on me in just the short amount of time I was exercising. Anyways that is all for tonight, I am amazed my brain functioned long enough to get this post out.
Monday, March 29, 2010
Just another manic Monday
and I am exhausted! Spring cleaning is hard work and I am just getting started. So much more work to be done inside and outside, a never ending task it seems. I am so tired today I am barely functioning. Somehow I have found the energy to make granola bars from scratch, eat lunch with my daughter at school (more about that below), wash the puked on comforter at the laundromat, and then come home to make whole wheat snickerdoodles,wash a load of dishes, and several more loads of laundry. I swear I just folded 5 baskets of clothes yesterday and now I have 5 more baskets, yuck!
I went to school and had lunch with Rory today. As part of my school food revolution fight I needed to see and experience the school lunch so I could have first hand knowledge of what is being served. Did you catch this past weeks segment where Jamie Oliver showed the kids how a chicken nugget is made? The chicken patty that was served today looked worse than that. I swear it was more floury goo than "chicken" anything. The menu was chicken patty on bun, french fries, shredded lettuce & pickle, fresh apple or cup of mandarin oranges, and chocolate milk. Thy offer white milk but of the 3 first grade classes I only saw 1 student who picked that option. Second ingredient on the chocolate milk was high fructose corn syrup. Yeah. The kicker? The food is served barely even lukewarm and the fries were stone cold. So not only they serving nasty processed foods but they are making it nearly inedible by serving it cold! My kids that are in school have been begging to eat breakfast at home & pack cold lunch, which up until now I have been saying no to. They are conditioned to eat that crap so while I saw my 7yo eat (and she went for her fruit first) her lunch, my 5yo, who is not conditioned to eating this crap, barely picked at her tray of yellow fried over processed "food", instead optiong to just have the milk and an apple.
I know I had more to say but I think my lunch is still sitting like a lump in my stomach making me more tired than usual. Looks like a short blog post from me today!
I went to school and had lunch with Rory today. As part of my school food revolution fight I needed to see and experience the school lunch so I could have first hand knowledge of what is being served. Did you catch this past weeks segment where Jamie Oliver showed the kids how a chicken nugget is made? The chicken patty that was served today looked worse than that. I swear it was more floury goo than "chicken" anything. The menu was chicken patty on bun, french fries, shredded lettuce & pickle, fresh apple or cup of mandarin oranges, and chocolate milk. Thy offer white milk but of the 3 first grade classes I only saw 1 student who picked that option. Second ingredient on the chocolate milk was high fructose corn syrup. Yeah. The kicker? The food is served barely even lukewarm and the fries were stone cold. So not only they serving nasty processed foods but they are making it nearly inedible by serving it cold! My kids that are in school have been begging to eat breakfast at home & pack cold lunch, which up until now I have been saying no to. They are conditioned to eat that crap so while I saw my 7yo eat (and she went for her fruit first) her lunch, my 5yo, who is not conditioned to eating this crap, barely picked at her tray of yellow fried over processed "food", instead optiong to just have the milk and an apple.
I know I had more to say but I think my lunch is still sitting like a lump in my stomach making me more tired than usual. Looks like a short blog post from me today!
Saturday, March 27, 2010
spring cleaning?
It IS spring even if it doesn't necessarily feel or look like it much this week in the PNW. But hey that is the PNW for ya. I wouldn't call myself a hoarder (except when it comes to yarn, but we all have our addictions right? Right?!) but I do have a hard time throwing things away. I always worry it's important or that even if I haven't used it in three years that as soon as it's gone I will suddenly need it like right. now! I have actually had that happen before which just makes that neurosis even worse. I hate clutter and yet my house feels filled with clutter and not much else. It doesn't help that we literally have no storage space at all so things just kind of fall on the floor or the kitchen counter, or the one teeny hall closet of doom. It drives me nuts but I have no idea how to clear out the clutter and organize. Then on top of that it seems to take extra money to get organized and that drives me crazy too.
So how do you motivate a bunch of kids and a lazy mom? A contest of course! It will b a race to see who can get their room the cleanest the fastest and gather up the most items for donation/garage sale. I guess we'll see how it goes once I get off my bum and crank up some tunes!
So how do you motivate a bunch of kids and a lazy mom? A contest of course! It will b a race to see who can get their room the cleanest the fastest and gather up the most items for donation/garage sale. I guess we'll see how it goes once I get off my bum and crank up some tunes!
Friday, March 26, 2010
A birthday for a Pixie
I can't believe that my baby is 5 years old today! Hard to believe that at this time 5 years ago I was just settling in to very active labor (according to EST it would be about 6pm).
My "due date" was march 23 but I had come to believe that my pregnancies with girls tended to go a bit past that EDD while my boys were like clockwork. I had dealt with a lot of prodromal labor with Pixie, 3 weeks worth to be exact. Each time I would think this could be it but it doesn't feel quite right, and I'd be right.
The morning of March 26 rolled around and I felt the quickening in my back early that morning and knew this was it. Not wanting to jinx it I didn't say anything yet. Just got up and took a hot shower to help alleviate some of the low dull back ache. As per my MO I would of course be having back labor. Every other birth was the same way. From what I have been told my pelvis is slightly odd shaped just enough that the baby can't seem to turn face down but rather the only way they can come down through the pelvis is sunny side up, which puts pressure on the back. Yay me.
I don't remember much more about my morning, it was probably boring and uneventful. Afternoon came along and I decided to go walk around the neighborhood. My neighbor & friend Patrice saw me and the APB was put out to our playgroup moms that I was in labor. I had invited 3 friends from the group to experience the birth with me, Patrice, Monica & Kelly. It wasn't long before Monica was there walking with me! Back at the house Nate was filling up our birth pool and getting it ready for the impending delivery.
The rest of the afternoon is kind of blurry, we kept a not to close eye on the contractions, tried to keep busy and just not think too much about what was going on. We put a call in to the midwives to let them know labor had begun but we still had a while to go yet. Then just like that the contractions were 5 minutes apart. I used the exercise ball, walked, squated, and eventually got in to the tub. It was so warm and relaxing and while it got rid of all of my pain it also slowed the contractions down. Back out of the tub was I but ooooh back labor hurts like a bitch!
When the contractions had reached 2 minutes apart I was back in the tub, the lights were dimmed, candles lit (I don't remember exactly when all this happened but I know it was between 5 & 6), Patrice & Monica were both there and unfortunately Kelly couldn't make it as it as her husband's birthday. The midwives had about an hour drive and I had hoped they would walk in just a moment to late for the birth but that darn tub had slowed my labor down again. Still I couldn't complain too much since it was such a great pain reliever. I hated having to get out of it to walk down the hall and use the bathroom.
The midwives kept themselves mostly out of my way which was what I wanted. The started herbs cooking on the stove for my after perineum care chatted with girls chatted with the husband and I. It was very relaxed. I do remember I kept cracking jokes and just having a nice time. Even with all of the kids there and 6 adults it was still peaceful and intimate.
And then transition hit. I have to say no matter how many births you have been through transition has a way of surprising you every time. You really turn deep in to your self, it's very much out of body experience like. This was the point were I started getting too hot in the tub causing me to become nauseous. Thankfully I had prepared some labor aid (home made of course!) ahead of time putting some in the fridge and freezing some in ice cube trays. This helped keep me very hydrated and cool. The midwife assistant was very helpful as well keeping a bowl of ice water nearby with a rag to put on my neck. I loved her and I know she is one great midwife now. Because I was drinking so much I was up and down from the tub frequently. On my last trip (I am going to say this was about 9pm) my water broke finally! This did however intensify the labor and make it hard to pull myself up off the toilet. The midwife & her assistant and & husband all gathered around to get me back to the tub when part way down the hall I was hit by a powerful contraction and could feel her moving down. The midwife asked what I wanted to do, head to the tub or to bed, which was much closer. I hadn't prepared the bed for birth and I was deadset on a waterbirth. I remember putting my hand between my legs and saying I didn't think she was going to give me a choice in the matter. But the contraction passed and we quickly shuffled back to the tub.
It seems like it took forever to get from the hall to the tub but reality was it didn't take very long at all. As soon as we were back to it I dropped my towel climbed in and before I could finish kneeling down another contraction hit and my Pixie was born with no pushing! I yelled out she is coming quick catch her and Nate reached down lickety split and caught our second daughter just as effortlessly as he had caught our first daughter.
The birth happened so fast that it took everyone by surprise. My 2 friends never saw anything and the other midwife (there were two midwives plus the assistant) had no idea I had given birth until the head mw called out the time of birth. MW #2 looked up in surprise and said "What?! when did that happen?" Priceless!
I laid back in the tub and held my sweet baby to my chest. Everyone was trying to get a peak at the gender. The kids thought it was a boy with a very big penis, I had to show them it was the umbilical cord and we had in fact had a girl just as I knew we would. There was a lot of hustle and bustle now and I was holding out on cutting the cord until the placenta delivered but it was just taking too long so after I guess 20 minutes or so I had the cord cut, passed the baby off to Nate, stood up so I could give the cord a gentle tug and out came the placenta. I won't tell you guys what I did with that later ;-)
Everything else that night is pretty vague. I just remember climbing in to bed with my precious newborn, fighting to get the stinker to nurse correctly and curling up to sleep with her and wonderful husband. I hope one day he will write his version of this story since I with my failing memory and labor induced fog know I am missing a lot from it.
My "due date" was march 23 but I had come to believe that my pregnancies with girls tended to go a bit past that EDD while my boys were like clockwork. I had dealt with a lot of prodromal labor with Pixie, 3 weeks worth to be exact. Each time I would think this could be it but it doesn't feel quite right, and I'd be right.
The morning of March 26 rolled around and I felt the quickening in my back early that morning and knew this was it. Not wanting to jinx it I didn't say anything yet. Just got up and took a hot shower to help alleviate some of the low dull back ache. As per my MO I would of course be having back labor. Every other birth was the same way. From what I have been told my pelvis is slightly odd shaped just enough that the baby can't seem to turn face down but rather the only way they can come down through the pelvis is sunny side up, which puts pressure on the back. Yay me.
I don't remember much more about my morning, it was probably boring and uneventful. Afternoon came along and I decided to go walk around the neighborhood. My neighbor & friend Patrice saw me and the APB was put out to our playgroup moms that I was in labor. I had invited 3 friends from the group to experience the birth with me, Patrice, Monica & Kelly. It wasn't long before Monica was there walking with me! Back at the house Nate was filling up our birth pool and getting it ready for the impending delivery.
The rest of the afternoon is kind of blurry, we kept a not to close eye on the contractions, tried to keep busy and just not think too much about what was going on. We put a call in to the midwives to let them know labor had begun but we still had a while to go yet. Then just like that the contractions were 5 minutes apart. I used the exercise ball, walked, squated, and eventually got in to the tub. It was so warm and relaxing and while it got rid of all of my pain it also slowed the contractions down. Back out of the tub was I but ooooh back labor hurts like a bitch!
When the contractions had reached 2 minutes apart I was back in the tub, the lights were dimmed, candles lit (I don't remember exactly when all this happened but I know it was between 5 & 6), Patrice & Monica were both there and unfortunately Kelly couldn't make it as it as her husband's birthday. The midwives had about an hour drive and I had hoped they would walk in just a moment to late for the birth but that darn tub had slowed my labor down again. Still I couldn't complain too much since it was such a great pain reliever. I hated having to get out of it to walk down the hall and use the bathroom.
The midwives kept themselves mostly out of my way which was what I wanted. The started herbs cooking on the stove for my after perineum care chatted with girls chatted with the husband and I. It was very relaxed. I do remember I kept cracking jokes and just having a nice time. Even with all of the kids there and 6 adults it was still peaceful and intimate.
And then transition hit. I have to say no matter how many births you have been through transition has a way of surprising you every time. You really turn deep in to your self, it's very much out of body experience like. This was the point were I started getting too hot in the tub causing me to become nauseous. Thankfully I had prepared some labor aid (home made of course!) ahead of time putting some in the fridge and freezing some in ice cube trays. This helped keep me very hydrated and cool. The midwife assistant was very helpful as well keeping a bowl of ice water nearby with a rag to put on my neck. I loved her and I know she is one great midwife now. Because I was drinking so much I was up and down from the tub frequently. On my last trip (I am going to say this was about 9pm) my water broke finally! This did however intensify the labor and make it hard to pull myself up off the toilet. The midwife & her assistant and & husband all gathered around to get me back to the tub when part way down the hall I was hit by a powerful contraction and could feel her moving down. The midwife asked what I wanted to do, head to the tub or to bed, which was much closer. I hadn't prepared the bed for birth and I was deadset on a waterbirth. I remember putting my hand between my legs and saying I didn't think she was going to give me a choice in the matter. But the contraction passed and we quickly shuffled back to the tub.
It seems like it took forever to get from the hall to the tub but reality was it didn't take very long at all. As soon as we were back to it I dropped my towel climbed in and before I could finish kneeling down another contraction hit and my Pixie was born with no pushing! I yelled out she is coming quick catch her and Nate reached down lickety split and caught our second daughter just as effortlessly as he had caught our first daughter.
The birth happened so fast that it took everyone by surprise. My 2 friends never saw anything and the other midwife (there were two midwives plus the assistant) had no idea I had given birth until the head mw called out the time of birth. MW #2 looked up in surprise and said "What?! when did that happen?" Priceless!
I laid back in the tub and held my sweet baby to my chest. Everyone was trying to get a peak at the gender. The kids thought it was a boy with a very big penis, I had to show them it was the umbilical cord and we had in fact had a girl just as I knew we would. There was a lot of hustle and bustle now and I was holding out on cutting the cord until the placenta delivered but it was just taking too long so after I guess 20 minutes or so I had the cord cut, passed the baby off to Nate, stood up so I could give the cord a gentle tug and out came the placenta. I won't tell you guys what I did with that later ;-)
Everything else that night is pretty vague. I just remember climbing in to bed with my precious newborn, fighting to get the stinker to nurse correctly and curling up to sleep with her and wonderful husband. I hope one day he will write his version of this story since I with my failing memory and labor induced fog know I am missing a lot from it.
Thursday, March 25, 2010
child, Genius.
Every parent wants to believe their children are smart, maybe even smarter than themselves. I've always known my children had more intelligence than I. My dad likes to say "children are born intelligent, it's us adults that dumb them down", so I always striven to never talk down to my children and treat them with as much respect and maturity as possible while still being in the parental role. This has worked well for us. This past week I have gotten to say, look at that my children ARE smarter than me! My 13yo will be skipping 7th grade and jumping to 8th grade this school year and I couldn't be more proud of him for pushing to be challenged.
Today was the 9 & 7 year old conferences and what an amazing conference I had with both teachers. My 7yo, V who is currently in 1st grade is reading on a 3rd grade level as well as doing 3rd grade math. Her writing is impeccable and her art? Wow! The teacher said she believes V could certainly bump up a grade, perhaps not sip 2nd grade but rather bypass 3rd and go to 4th after she finishes her 2nd grade year. I am so impressed with how focused and determined she is and how she strives for excellence. On to my 9yo's class and the teacher calls him the wonderboy! He entered this school year only reading 37 words per minute and is now at 130 wpm! His math is well above level too. I didn't discuss the possibility of skipping a grade with him, maybe next year after he has gained a little more confidence and worked more on his writing as right now his writing is below what the 3rd graders are doing nevermind the 4th graders. So that is what he will be working to improve this summer break.
For those who may not follow me on facebook, I am starting a school food revolution! Finally something my activist heart can really bury herself in and make a change with. My inspiration came from the show Jamie Oliver's Food Revolution. It made me look at my kids lunch menu, I mean really look at it. And what I saw was terrible! The school has a wonderful garden with greenhouses but they aren't utilizing them to the fullest. Not only that but our state is a part of the farm to school program and yet hardly any schools are using this wonderful thing! If you are interested in following my journey and starting your own revolution in your child's school look for me on facebook under "mom's for a school food revolution".
Today was the 9 & 7 year old conferences and what an amazing conference I had with both teachers. My 7yo, V who is currently in 1st grade is reading on a 3rd grade level as well as doing 3rd grade math. Her writing is impeccable and her art? Wow! The teacher said she believes V could certainly bump up a grade, perhaps not sip 2nd grade but rather bypass 3rd and go to 4th after she finishes her 2nd grade year. I am so impressed with how focused and determined she is and how she strives for excellence. On to my 9yo's class and the teacher calls him the wonderboy! He entered this school year only reading 37 words per minute and is now at 130 wpm! His math is well above level too. I didn't discuss the possibility of skipping a grade with him, maybe next year after he has gained a little more confidence and worked more on his writing as right now his writing is below what the 3rd graders are doing nevermind the 4th graders. So that is what he will be working to improve this summer break.
For those who may not follow me on facebook, I am starting a school food revolution! Finally something my activist heart can really bury herself in and make a change with. My inspiration came from the show Jamie Oliver's Food Revolution. It made me look at my kids lunch menu, I mean really look at it. And what I saw was terrible! The school has a wonderful garden with greenhouses but they aren't utilizing them to the fullest. Not only that but our state is a part of the farm to school program and yet hardly any schools are using this wonderful thing! If you are interested in following my journey and starting your own revolution in your child's school look for me on facebook under "mom's for a school food revolution".
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
5 minutes
That is all it took for me to lose it this morning. Pandering lies and fear mongering really piss me off. It drives me insane reading posts against the Bill that are based on lies and inaccuracies. Even more so when it comes from intelligent friends who for some reason can't fact check their shit before posting and when the truth is given to them just turn a blind eye. Fine if you don't agree with the Bill but my Goddess don't try to feed me bullshit and call it steak. You know what else really ticks me off? Is people who are enjoying the benefits of "Government" health insurance but would chose to deny other American families the right to basic coverage. Why is it good enough for you but not anyone else?
Ranting aside I originally planned to start the blog out with just 5 minutes on the trampoline but I was side tracked. I wanted to enjoy the sun & fresh air today so I took Pixie out to jump on the trampoline. 3 minutes and I was down on my back trying to catch my breath. After another 3 minute jumping round I was D-U-N done! I have really got to get my lungs back into condition sine without a good cardio all the stretching and free weights and lunges and crunches won't be very effective.
I did talk to a trainer today and she suggested if all I wanted to do was get ripped was to try the P90X but it is cardio intense so I worry I would have a hard time keeping up. Hell it looks intense anyways, have you seen this new craze? Yeah, crazy. It does come with a money back guarantee so it may be worth it to buy the system if it does actually work. Going to have to see if I can fit the low monthly payments into our budget. I am sure I can I just want to be totally sure before I commit to it. Too bad I can't just get a copy (or 12 holy crow) from netflix so I could at least see if it's something I would be in to. Maybe I will go ahead and get it and then my blog can be my diary on it.
Ranting aside I originally planned to start the blog out with just 5 minutes on the trampoline but I was side tracked. I wanted to enjoy the sun & fresh air today so I took Pixie out to jump on the trampoline. 3 minutes and I was down on my back trying to catch my breath. After another 3 minute jumping round I was D-U-N done! I have really got to get my lungs back into condition sine without a good cardio all the stretching and free weights and lunges and crunches won't be very effective.
I did talk to a trainer today and she suggested if all I wanted to do was get ripped was to try the P90X but it is cardio intense so I worry I would have a hard time keeping up. Hell it looks intense anyways, have you seen this new craze? Yeah, crazy. It does come with a money back guarantee so it may be worth it to buy the system if it does actually work. Going to have to see if I can fit the low monthly payments into our budget. I am sure I can I just want to be totally sure before I commit to it. Too bad I can't just get a copy (or 12 holy crow) from netflix so I could at least see if it's something I would be in to. Maybe I will go ahead and get it and then my blog can be my diary on it.
Monday, March 22, 2010
My thoughts on the Health Care Reform Act
I really didn't much feel like blogging today. So much going on in my head but not much to actually talk about. I was happy to hear the Health Care Reform Act was passed. It's still needs more work and more changes but this is a beginning and I hope it's in the right direction. I feel like it is. It really just blows me away that while we have some of the best health care in the world that so many people are denied even basic coverage or can't afford basic coverage. Then on top of that how many who do have coverage lose it every day for becoming ill or having a "pre existing condition". It seems those who oppose the loudest are the ones who have reliable health care and I don't understand how they couldn't want that for everyone? Or the ones who say they don't want healthcare at all since the do not use allopathic doctors. Ok, we don't use allopathic Drs either unless necessary. We have paid out of pocket for home births & naturopathic treatment & chiropractic care. But I tell you what the day we need to rush a child to the ER or heaven forbid if one of us needed to stay extendly in the hospital or have a surgery I am ever so happy to have that allopathic health care available to us through our insurance. There is no way you can plan and save for that kind of expense and these people who think they don't need insurance since they don't use allopathic doctors are the ones that help drain the system with tax payers dollars when they do need to use the hospital for what it is there for. That is pretty damn selfish if you ask me. It's pretty damn selfish to benefit from having health insurance and deny someone else that basic right. Hell yes I would be willing to pay more taxes (whether that be the case or not regarding this Bill, it is 200 pages long and I have barely cracked the surface) to ensure that family of 5 that is working 3 or more jobs to keep a roof over their heads and food on the table for the children, they have health insurance. Or about that young family over there who is being denied coverage because the mother has a pre existing condition that was covered while on her parents insurance but no longer allowed insurance once she was married and could not be covered by her parents. These and more are happening everyday.
Now yes in an ideal world I would much prefer the government not be involved but look at what has happened to our banks and insurance companies because of non involvement? They aren't being held accountable for their business practices and it' about damn time they were. Government insurance is well and good enough for the Legislatures, Congressman, Senators, Governors etc why can't it be good enough for the average citizen?
Do I worry, as a non vaccinating home birthing mother, that this Bill may open the door to forced vaccines and hospital births? Well yes and no. Homebirth is statistically as safe if not safer than hospital births but it is exponentially cheaper and cheaper is what talks right now. Lower cost of health care = pushing for more home births and midwifery model of care. Other countries with "socialized" medicine have religious & medical vaccine exemptions, why would the same not be true for us? As an intactivist trying to end the medically unnecessary cosmetic removal of infant boys foreskins I think this bill may help this movement. As it is insurances are refusing to pay for this surgery and if all insurances refuse that means the number of circumcisions will decrease as most families are not going to pay $300-500 out of pocket for this surgery.
I suppose I am just having a hard time seeing the bad in this bill, seeing the bad in change. We the people elected Obama because he promised health care reform. This week his Bill has been passed and he is fulfilling at least one promise he has made to us. This is what the majority of the people wanted whether the naysayers want to believe it or not. The proof is in the pudding.
Now yes in an ideal world I would much prefer the government not be involved but look at what has happened to our banks and insurance companies because of non involvement? They aren't being held accountable for their business practices and it' about damn time they were. Government insurance is well and good enough for the Legislatures, Congressman, Senators, Governors etc why can't it be good enough for the average citizen?
Do I worry, as a non vaccinating home birthing mother, that this Bill may open the door to forced vaccines and hospital births? Well yes and no. Homebirth is statistically as safe if not safer than hospital births but it is exponentially cheaper and cheaper is what talks right now. Lower cost of health care = pushing for more home births and midwifery model of care. Other countries with "socialized" medicine have religious & medical vaccine exemptions, why would the same not be true for us? As an intactivist trying to end the medically unnecessary cosmetic removal of infant boys foreskins I think this bill may help this movement. As it is insurances are refusing to pay for this surgery and if all insurances refuse that means the number of circumcisions will decrease as most families are not going to pay $300-500 out of pocket for this surgery.
I suppose I am just having a hard time seeing the bad in this bill, seeing the bad in change. We the people elected Obama because he promised health care reform. This week his Bill has been passed and he is fulfilling at least one promise he has made to us. This is what the majority of the people wanted whether the naysayers want to believe it or not. The proof is in the pudding.
Sunday, March 21, 2010
Bye Bye Winter!
Yesterday was the first day of spring and it was just gorgeous! At least over here in the PNW, I here some parts of the midwest got a nice dousing of snow. Mother Nature got back at us a little and covered us in clouds and rain today but whatever, I have to be inside knitting anyways. So many projects so very little time to finish them! And yet I am procrastinating hardcore, must get better at that.
After watching the documentary Food Inc, on Friday the husband and I have decided to make some changes. We are going to look into finding local sources for our meats (as we have no inclination to go Veg) and we are going to be building some raised beds by following the book Square Foot Gardening. This should yield healthy, bountiful veggies & fruits to sustain us. I'll be doing a lot of reading on how to garden and how to can & freeze fresh produce. I'll also be looking for ways to make our own sour cream and other such dairy products using local raw milk. Not only will this help us in saving money but it means we are not contributing the meat manufacturing machine that is creating our foods today. I highly recommend watching this documentary to everyone. One person at a time is how change is made and unless these companies know that the consumer does not want their corn fed, antibiotic, e-coli, genetically modified meats, they will continue to do what they are doing and at a great price to us, our children and the workers on these "farms".
Now then, I promised I would take a stripped down exposed and honest picture of myself, so I set up my camera with the self timer in the bathroom and took a few snapshots. Now I know most people will look at this picture and say, what the hell do you need to work out for? Well exercise isn't just about losing weight or slimming down (and I'll be the first to say I could really use to gain a few lbs!) it's also about being firm, fit and healthy. I have to say I have felt better by exercising 4-6 times a week than I have felt in a long while. I am also taking supplements which include Dr Christophers kid-e-calc & kid-e-trac as well as my Omega 3 fish oils. These have made a huge impact in a very short amount of time. I plan to keep up with the monthly photos the workout plan & the supplements. I can't wait to see the physical changes that I am already feeling. I have also discovered that if I don't have time to spend on a 30-50 min work out that 10 minutes on the trampoline gives me a great leg & butt workout as well as awesome cardio! In fact I think I may just have to go hop on the trampoline today while the sun is out :) Ok ok no more stalling here is me (headless woo!)
After watching the documentary Food Inc, on Friday the husband and I have decided to make some changes. We are going to look into finding local sources for our meats (as we have no inclination to go Veg) and we are going to be building some raised beds by following the book Square Foot Gardening. This should yield healthy, bountiful veggies & fruits to sustain us. I'll be doing a lot of reading on how to garden and how to can & freeze fresh produce. I'll also be looking for ways to make our own sour cream and other such dairy products using local raw milk. Not only will this help us in saving money but it means we are not contributing the meat manufacturing machine that is creating our foods today. I highly recommend watching this documentary to everyone. One person at a time is how change is made and unless these companies know that the consumer does not want their corn fed, antibiotic, e-coli, genetically modified meats, they will continue to do what they are doing and at a great price to us, our children and the workers on these "farms".
Now then, I promised I would take a stripped down exposed and honest picture of myself, so I set up my camera with the self timer in the bathroom and took a few snapshots. Now I know most people will look at this picture and say, what the hell do you need to work out for? Well exercise isn't just about losing weight or slimming down (and I'll be the first to say I could really use to gain a few lbs!) it's also about being firm, fit and healthy. I have to say I have felt better by exercising 4-6 times a week than I have felt in a long while. I am also taking supplements which include Dr Christophers kid-e-calc & kid-e-trac as well as my Omega 3 fish oils. These have made a huge impact in a very short amount of time. I plan to keep up with the monthly photos the workout plan & the supplements. I can't wait to see the physical changes that I am already feeling. I have also discovered that if I don't have time to spend on a 30-50 min work out that 10 minutes on the trampoline gives me a great leg & butt workout as well as awesome cardio! In fact I think I may just have to go hop on the trampoline today while the sun is out :) Ok ok no more stalling here is me (headless woo!)
Friday, March 19, 2010
Science Fair Project idea!
I saw this article this morning, McDonald's Happy Meal looks the same after 1 year sitting on a shelf, and was just grossed out. The thought of a food product NOT decaying or molding while sitting out just skeeves me right out. Sure we all know that when the world ends Twinkies & cockroaches will be all that remains, but looks like Fast Food and all those preservative filled convenience foods we stock up on at the grocery store will also likely be around after the end of times. The preservatives act much like the chemicals they used way back in the days of Egyptian mummifications, gross right? And we are just filling up our bodies and our children's bodies with that crap!
Now don't get me wrong I am by no means 100% all natural eater or cook. I enjoy a good fastfood burger & fries with the best of them. I also enjoy the convenience of prepackaged rice mixes, cereal, soups, snacks etc etc etc. Am I trying to steer away from them? Yes, and I am hoping that by getting myself into this new routine of up early, work out, chores, to bed early will help give me the energy I need to cook a lot more from scratch. I am also hopeful that I can turn my black thumb green so i can at least grow some of our own fruits & veggies.
Where were we? Oh right, science experiment. So the kids had about 3 weeks notice for the annual Science & Math fair this year. I also seem to remember having much more advance notice, then again I loved doing science projects. We wracked our brains for something original, searched websites and just felt like everything had already been done a million times. So w settled on a memory test. Boring, predictable but we used what we had to work with. I'll find out today how Jared's project went. Anyways, this article sparked a great conversation on Facebook and an idea for a long term science project we can start now for next year. And that would be comparing the rate of decomposition on several different varieties of hamburgers. 1 from McDonalds, 1 from a frozen meal, 1 totally homemade and 1 boxed hamburger helper meal. This will be interesting (and yes even a bit disgusting) and I will be documenting it all with pictures right here on this blog. Now I just have to find somewhere to store this decaying food where the cats won't eat it and bugs won't get in to it, anyone with ideas feel free to share!
Now don't get me wrong I am by no means 100% all natural eater or cook. I enjoy a good fastfood burger & fries with the best of them. I also enjoy the convenience of prepackaged rice mixes, cereal, soups, snacks etc etc etc. Am I trying to steer away from them? Yes, and I am hoping that by getting myself into this new routine of up early, work out, chores, to bed early will help give me the energy I need to cook a lot more from scratch. I am also hopeful that I can turn my black thumb green so i can at least grow some of our own fruits & veggies.
Where were we? Oh right, science experiment. So the kids had about 3 weeks notice for the annual Science & Math fair this year. I also seem to remember having much more advance notice, then again I loved doing science projects. We wracked our brains for something original, searched websites and just felt like everything had already been done a million times. So w settled on a memory test. Boring, predictable but we used what we had to work with. I'll find out today how Jared's project went. Anyways, this article sparked a great conversation on Facebook and an idea for a long term science project we can start now for next year. And that would be comparing the rate of decomposition on several different varieties of hamburgers. 1 from McDonalds, 1 from a frozen meal, 1 totally homemade and 1 boxed hamburger helper meal. This will be interesting (and yes even a bit disgusting) and I will be documenting it all with pictures right here on this blog. Now I just have to find somewhere to store this decaying food where the cats won't eat it and bugs won't get in to it, anyone with ideas feel free to share!
Thursday, March 18, 2010
Just a whine from me to you
Excuse me while I have a pity party and hate on the military tonight. My husband, who gets sick less than I do and I rarely get sick (with the exception of this winter), is sick as a dog. He has a high fever, chilld, body ache, sore throat, stuffed up head and you know what? That man STILL has to go to work tomorrow. No sick day for the military folks, no sirree. We are just going to force our men (and women) to go to work spreading their germs and thusly getting more people sick while at the same time making the sick person even more miserable when they could probably have gotten over the crap twice as fast if they could just have a bloody damn day off to rest! On top of being miserably sick he has to go stand duty tomorrow which means a 30 hour work day. Sure he will get a few hours to sleep, but really? I know they signed up for this but it just blows me away that he can't even have one damned day to be able to rest & recuperate so he could get better and get back work 100%. And of course I am getting the crud which is going to make for a whiny miserable me. I make a terrible sick person and frankly I don't have time for the crap this weekend.
My other complaint? I finally know what I want from college, have my major picked out for my AA & BA, get the process started to enroll and blam the only military spouse tuition assistance program is halted with no warning. Now they are getting it started back up but still have a lot of things to work out so no word on when they will be taking new applications. Fuck me, I had planned to be enrolled and starting classes by next month & graduating with my AA in Sept/Oct of next year. This totally delays things and I know me, if I am not jumping on something the instant I am inspired to do so I will procrastinate the hell out of it.
And one last thing, it really burns my bacon that a fellow wife had to call comsubgroup to find out about getting Subball tickets because the boat couldn't get their shit together. Deadline for the boats to sell tickets is in 8 days and after that the leftover tickets are divvied up among the boats asking for more tickets. I would be one hella pissed off wife if we didn't get tickets because of the boat being slack. Sure whatever they have more important things to do, you now like force the guys to attend mandatory fundays. This is one of those big events however that the boat shouldn't be dropping the ball on. It;s not like we get to take our men out all snazzied up in their uniforms very often. We want an excuse to get dressed up, leave our worries behind for a few hours, get drunk and dance! Is that too much to ask I say?
My other complaint? I finally know what I want from college, have my major picked out for my AA & BA, get the process started to enroll and blam the only military spouse tuition assistance program is halted with no warning. Now they are getting it started back up but still have a lot of things to work out so no word on when they will be taking new applications. Fuck me, I had planned to be enrolled and starting classes by next month & graduating with my AA in Sept/Oct of next year. This totally delays things and I know me, if I am not jumping on something the instant I am inspired to do so I will procrastinate the hell out of it.
And one last thing, it really burns my bacon that a fellow wife had to call comsubgroup to find out about getting Subball tickets because the boat couldn't get their shit together. Deadline for the boats to sell tickets is in 8 days and after that the leftover tickets are divvied up among the boats asking for more tickets. I would be one hella pissed off wife if we didn't get tickets because of the boat being slack. Sure whatever they have more important things to do, you now like force the guys to attend mandatory fundays. This is one of those big events however that the boat shouldn't be dropping the ball on. It;s not like we get to take our men out all snazzied up in their uniforms very often. We want an excuse to get dressed up, leave our worries behind for a few hours, get drunk and dance! Is that too much to ask I say?
Burn baby burn!
New work out today and wow do I feel it, I actually had a hard time keeping up with this one. Today's excursion was with Crunch: Burn & Firm Pilates. It was pretty damn good. Lots of cardio, lots of leg, some arm and a short but intense ab. This was a longer workout too, 50 min vs 30 but I don't feel like i just spent nearly an hour working out, which is one of the things I enjoy about the Ellen Barret hosted videos. My abs are burning, my lungs are burning, my legs are burning and it is GOOD!
I also can't get over that it's 9:30 am and not only have I cleaned up a bit in the kitchen, cleaned my living room including giving it a vacuum, worked out and now I am enjoying some not very healthy but hey it gets me my protein & carbs breakfast and yes even a cup of coffee as I have come to accept my body isn't ready to 1) get up early 2) go to bed early 3) work out everyday and 4) also give up coffee. Baby steps.
It's already a beautiful day here in WA, I am almost getting used to seeing sun even though it is still winter. I may just be inspired to walk Pixie down to the Park today and get some vitamin D :)
I also can't get over that it's 9:30 am and not only have I cleaned up a bit in the kitchen, cleaned my living room including giving it a vacuum, worked out and now I am enjoying some not very healthy but hey it gets me my protein & carbs breakfast and yes even a cup of coffee as I have come to accept my body isn't ready to 1) get up early 2) go to bed early 3) work out everyday and 4) also give up coffee. Baby steps.
It's already a beautiful day here in WA, I am almost getting used to seeing sun even though it is still winter. I may just be inspired to walk Pixie down to the Park today and get some vitamin D :)
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
Title this!
Yeah I hate coming up with titles for my blogs, it's stupid what can I say. Today has pretty much been a waste. Well not really it just feels like it has slipped by quicker than I can blink. Had to get up at the buttcrack of dawn to take my 2 kittens in to be spayed, yay for that. Then the Pixie & I headed up to Bremerton to hit Amy's chocolate shop. This place has the most amazing salted caramels EVA. Crazy expensive lil treats but man so so good!
Afterwards we headed over to Samudra coffee, tea & yoga for a quickie breakfast while we waited for our friends Caroline & Olivia to arrive. Samudra has some of the yummiest latte's (creme brule is my ultimate fav) and the bake goodies friesh everyday so I usually end up with a bacon & cheddar scone while Pixie usually ends up with a healthy (is there such a thing?) cookie. This morning it was a clover shaped gingerbread cookie with green frosting, mmm healthy! But plans went awry and CC& Olivia couldn't make it so change of plans we went up to the base to have lunch with the Mr. Well he ate lunch, she had a chicken strip and I nibbled some fries since we had just literally had breakfast.
While we were eating the school called to say X had a tummy ache. While I called the school to talk to him Mr tried to set up our counseling appt. Which reminds me I need to call them back myself b/c they want to have a 30 minute phone convo first before setting up an appt. I guess so they can give as much info to the counselor as possible? It's weird to me but I guess if that is how they do it then whatevs.
I am skipping a workout today although I may do some candlelight yoga tonight in hopes it will help me relax and go to sleep. The insomnia monster has decided to grace me with his presence again. Stupid fucking insomnia.
Afterwards we headed over to Samudra coffee, tea & yoga for a quickie breakfast while we waited for our friends Caroline & Olivia to arrive. Samudra has some of the yummiest latte's (creme brule is my ultimate fav) and the bake goodies friesh everyday so I usually end up with a bacon & cheddar scone while Pixie usually ends up with a healthy (is there such a thing?) cookie. This morning it was a clover shaped gingerbread cookie with green frosting, mmm healthy! But plans went awry and CC& Olivia couldn't make it so change of plans we went up to the base to have lunch with the Mr. Well he ate lunch, she had a chicken strip and I nibbled some fries since we had just literally had breakfast.
While we were eating the school called to say X had a tummy ache. While I called the school to talk to him Mr tried to set up our counseling appt. Which reminds me I need to call them back myself b/c they want to have a 30 minute phone convo first before setting up an appt. I guess so they can give as much info to the counselor as possible? It's weird to me but I guess if that is how they do it then whatevs.
I am skipping a workout today although I may do some candlelight yoga tonight in hopes it will help me relax and go to sleep. The insomnia monster has decided to grace me with his presence again. Stupid fucking insomnia.
Tuesday, March 16, 2010
Bugged
First it was the boys, barfing their brains out this morning. Then this afternoon I got a call to pick up Rory from school. Yay for the stomach bug. I really hate those because there isn't anything you can do but let it run it's course.
I also woke up feeling a little off and decided I'd just chill in bed and get a bunch of knitting done and skip my workout. That didn't last long as it felt weird to not work out! So I got up and got going. Today I tried out Crunch: pick your spot pilates. Not overly impressed with this one but I may feel differently this morning. I did do all 3 sections, abs, butt & thigh. I liked the abs well enough, the butt was meh and the thighs were ok but nothing special.
And remember that Pixie of mine who was getting dreads? Decided when we were 1/4 of the way from being finished that she no longer wanted them and instead wanted a short hair cut. Yeah. Let me just say combing knots out of her hair is no fun in and of itself but combing knots that have been backcombed in to her hair and then waxed? Even less fun. But we worked them out washed her hair and snip snip snip. She loves it and this is how she looks now
and her being silly with a pose
along with all that I did yesterday I also id some dyeing. A girl I sold a huge hank of wollmeise lace to asked for me to overdye the bright lovely green. We had a vision which didn't exactly work out so well but she loves what did happen and that's what counts. She will be getting this very soon
and as part of a uber trade I am knitting socks and dyeing yarn for another gal. She ha already received one of the yarns and 1 sock to try on to make sure my sizing was correct. So this is the final skein of yarn I dyed up for her
I also woke up feeling a little off and decided I'd just chill in bed and get a bunch of knitting done and skip my workout. That didn't last long as it felt weird to not work out! So I got up and got going. Today I tried out Crunch: pick your spot pilates. Not overly impressed with this one but I may feel differently this morning. I did do all 3 sections, abs, butt & thigh. I liked the abs well enough, the butt was meh and the thighs were ok but nothing special.
And remember that Pixie of mine who was getting dreads? Decided when we were 1/4 of the way from being finished that she no longer wanted them and instead wanted a short hair cut. Yeah. Let me just say combing knots out of her hair is no fun in and of itself but combing knots that have been backcombed in to her hair and then waxed? Even less fun. But we worked them out washed her hair and snip snip snip. She loves it and this is how she looks now
and her being silly with a pose
along with all that I did yesterday I also id some dyeing. A girl I sold a huge hank of wollmeise lace to asked for me to overdye the bright lovely green. We had a vision which didn't exactly work out so well but she loves what did happen and that's what counts. She will be getting this very soon
and as part of a uber trade I am knitting socks and dyeing yarn for another gal. She ha already received one of the yarns and 1 sock to try on to make sure my sizing was correct. So this is the final skein of yarn I dyed up for her
Monday, March 15, 2010
The Odd Couple
This time change has me a bit whacked out, but then again so does my emotionally charged weekend. I know my 2 weekend blogs sound extremely angry and high strung, I wasn't, just had to get emotions out of my head so I could be rational in my conversations with my husband.
The two of us, we really are an odd couple. No one ever thought we would last and here we are 10 years later still crazy about each other. We are that sickening couple that really doesn't fight. We don't always agree on everything but we don't fight. This weekend was no exception, we don't agree on this issue but we didn't fight. I know it doesn't sound that way but the entire time we argue our points and discussed our feelings we were snuggled up with each other and caressing each other. Crazy right? Certainly makes more sense to me than yelling, throwing things, slinging insults, slamming doors etc. We can be loving towards one another even in the heat of an argument and personally I think that is pretty damn awesome.
Last night as we curled up together he asked if I wanted to talk and I said simply, no. I was exhausted emotionally and just wanted some comfort. Even though I am upset and part of that is because of something he said, he is still the one I need and turn to for comfort. We agreed no more talking until we get in to the counselor. It feels weird to be seeing a marriage counselor when we really don't have any marital issues, just this one big decision. Instead we spent the night loving each other, talking about how much we love each other and generally being nauseating. We can't help it, we are crazy for each other! I can't stay mad or upset with him, I just don't have the space for it.
So this morning I woke up a little slower than usual, stupid time change. I feel better more refreshed with a better outlook on everything. I came downstairs and made Pixie her breakfast and made the dough for 3 loaves of bread. While they rose I worked out again. I am really liking the pick your level pilates for weight loss. I may still try out a few more videos in my queue but for now this is the one I feel I get the all over workout I need.
Speaking of weight loss, I was convinced I must have gained 5-10lbs over the past 5-6 months since I am suddenly not fitting into a pair of my dress pants and even my jeans are a wee bit snug. So I got on the wii fit yesterday to get my weight and what?! I dropped 5lbs? I was 113 last Oct/Nov, now I am 108? How is that even possible? Shouldn't my clothes be looser then not tighter? Well that tripped me out and has me wondering if maybe the balance board is out of balance or something? Anyways I know I said on the 15th I would post some brutally honest stripped down pictures of me but I forgot Mr. Pin Up has duty today which means no one to take my picture. Now sure I could go rig it up and use the self timer but let's face it, just because I am getting up earlier & exercising doesn't mean I am no longer lazy.
It's about that time to pop the bread in to the oven and get some knitting done. One of these days I'll figure out how to write a short blog, but for now I like being wordy!
The two of us, we really are an odd couple. No one ever thought we would last and here we are 10 years later still crazy about each other. We are that sickening couple that really doesn't fight. We don't always agree on everything but we don't fight. This weekend was no exception, we don't agree on this issue but we didn't fight. I know it doesn't sound that way but the entire time we argue our points and discussed our feelings we were snuggled up with each other and caressing each other. Crazy right? Certainly makes more sense to me than yelling, throwing things, slinging insults, slamming doors etc. We can be loving towards one another even in the heat of an argument and personally I think that is pretty damn awesome.
Last night as we curled up together he asked if I wanted to talk and I said simply, no. I was exhausted emotionally and just wanted some comfort. Even though I am upset and part of that is because of something he said, he is still the one I need and turn to for comfort. We agreed no more talking until we get in to the counselor. It feels weird to be seeing a marriage counselor when we really don't have any marital issues, just this one big decision. Instead we spent the night loving each other, talking about how much we love each other and generally being nauseating. We can't help it, we are crazy for each other! I can't stay mad or upset with him, I just don't have the space for it.
So this morning I woke up a little slower than usual, stupid time change. I feel better more refreshed with a better outlook on everything. I came downstairs and made Pixie her breakfast and made the dough for 3 loaves of bread. While they rose I worked out again. I am really liking the pick your level pilates for weight loss. I may still try out a few more videos in my queue but for now this is the one I feel I get the all over workout I need.
Speaking of weight loss, I was convinced I must have gained 5-10lbs over the past 5-6 months since I am suddenly not fitting into a pair of my dress pants and even my jeans are a wee bit snug. So I got on the wii fit yesterday to get my weight and what?! I dropped 5lbs? I was 113 last Oct/Nov, now I am 108? How is that even possible? Shouldn't my clothes be looser then not tighter? Well that tripped me out and has me wondering if maybe the balance board is out of balance or something? Anyways I know I said on the 15th I would post some brutally honest stripped down pictures of me but I forgot Mr. Pin Up has duty today which means no one to take my picture. Now sure I could go rig it up and use the self timer but let's face it, just because I am getting up earlier & exercising doesn't mean I am no longer lazy.
It's about that time to pop the bread in to the oven and get some knitting done. One of these days I'll figure out how to write a short blog, but for now I like being wordy!
Sunday, March 14, 2010
Pixie, food & coffee
I have so been slacking on uploading some of the pictures I promised! First off Little miss PixieFried! This 1st picture is what her hair in the front looks like with a gentle brushing, the second shows her hair after 1 night of sleep (after a bath & hair washing no less) and the 3rd is the beginning of her dread locks. We are half way done with them now but I am trying to take my time since the wax really annoys me for some reason.
I am trying to get back to my bread making and pulled up an old tried & true recipe (that requires a lot of tweaking as it doesn't call for nearly enough liquid to make a good dough). Now I made these 2 double batches from the same recipe, at the same time, using the same method. WTF happened to the first batch is beyond me but it made damn good cinnamon toast for the kids afterschool snack. The second batch didn't last too long either as for some reason we eat through homemade bread a lot faster than store bread. Taste really does matter ;-) Tomorrow I am going to make some honey wheat loaves as well as some plain ol white bread.
seriously what happened?
but oh this looks perfect!
For dinner the other night I made minestrone soup. Oh so yummy and so easy! I subbed regular mac noodles for stars to make it more fun. This recipe yielded enough for me to freeze 2 more nights worth of it, yay! This helps with our money saving plan as this was a very cheap recipe and to get 3 meals from it just rawks!
And last but certainly not least I made dulce de leche coffee a la the pioneer woman (who IMO is certainly the Goddess of easy inexpensive but to die for foods!) minus the booze, which wasn't missed but would certainly turn this already incredible treat into something sinfully delish!
I am trying to get back to my bread making and pulled up an old tried & true recipe (that requires a lot of tweaking as it doesn't call for nearly enough liquid to make a good dough). Now I made these 2 double batches from the same recipe, at the same time, using the same method. WTF happened to the first batch is beyond me but it made damn good cinnamon toast for the kids afterschool snack. The second batch didn't last too long either as for some reason we eat through homemade bread a lot faster than store bread. Taste really does matter ;-) Tomorrow I am going to make some honey wheat loaves as well as some plain ol white bread.
seriously what happened?
but oh this looks perfect!
For dinner the other night I made minestrone soup. Oh so yummy and so easy! I subbed regular mac noodles for stars to make it more fun. This recipe yielded enough for me to freeze 2 more nights worth of it, yay! This helps with our money saving plan as this was a very cheap recipe and to get 3 meals from it just rawks!
And last but certainly not least I made dulce de leche coffee a la the pioneer woman (who IMO is certainly the Goddess of easy inexpensive but to die for foods!) minus the booze, which wasn't missed but would certainly turn this already incredible treat into something sinfully delish!
Really?
Now I am just mad. Why the hell did you throw option number 3 at me? I liked only having 2 options, next year or not at all. I was ok with the decision to make it not at all, and then you do that? Dangle a carrot in front of my face? That is not fair, I don't understand what the hell you were thinking doing that, like it was supposed to make it better?
Well guess what, it makes it worse! All I can think about recently is having just one more. I can't stop those feelings but I can stop dwelling on it by taking away the option. I was OK with that really! I made my peace with it and could move on. But this? This is just not fair! When I tell you that by making the decision to end the option will help me not to think about it anymore why do you toss out the option of renewing my IUD and seeing about in 4-5 yrs after you retire and we have settled in to our new home. WHY?! Because now I can't be ok with making the decision to end the option. Not with that hanging in front of me. And you know as well as I do that 5 years from now really isn't an option at all. I'll be 36 you will be 41 our youngest will be 10 and we will just be starting up our business. How can you possibly think that is an option even worth considering? I mean one of your main reasons for not wanting another is because we are finally at the stage with the kids that we can get alone time and go out on dates and do stuff just you & me, and you want to step back and start all over when the kids will be 10, 13, 15, 18, & 19. . . REALLY?
How do you get from I don't want anymore, ever, to hey lets make 5 yrs an option. The conversation was going so well up until that point. I liked that we could share our thoughts and feelings rationally and calmly, but damn it that was not rational and it sure as hell doesn't make me calm. I seriously have no idea where that came from, it was so far out from left field that I can't even see how the idea got in to your head, much less what made you think to share it. And I sure as hell can't see how 5 yrs from now is a better option over next year, I don't. I get you are scared of what is going to happen once you retire, I am freaked out too! But we have a game plan and we are already starting to put those plans in to motion. Every child we have had has come at a "bad time" financially, emotionally. . . whatever reason there was always a reason why it was bad timing and yet it all worked out, we made it through just fine and a stronger better couple for it. The difference is this time we would be planning it and I think that scares you more than anything. Tossing option 3 into the bag just shows me you aren't opposed to one more, you are just scared to death of what the future holds. Fear cannot be the reason to hold you back, from anything. Don't let fear be the deciding factor, it needs to be what is true in your head and your heart but I can't see how it is when you give an option 3. That is what has me reeling and confused and just. . . not ok now with going ahead with what we decided.
Maybe you are right, we should wait a little while and go see that counselor like you suggested so we have a mediator and someone who can helps us fully 100% reach the right decision on this. While I think we have done a great job on our own talking it out our emotions do get in the way and someone to keep us on track and calm might be what we need.
Well guess what, it makes it worse! All I can think about recently is having just one more. I can't stop those feelings but I can stop dwelling on it by taking away the option. I was OK with that really! I made my peace with it and could move on. But this? This is just not fair! When I tell you that by making the decision to end the option will help me not to think about it anymore why do you toss out the option of renewing my IUD and seeing about in 4-5 yrs after you retire and we have settled in to our new home. WHY?! Because now I can't be ok with making the decision to end the option. Not with that hanging in front of me. And you know as well as I do that 5 years from now really isn't an option at all. I'll be 36 you will be 41 our youngest will be 10 and we will just be starting up our business. How can you possibly think that is an option even worth considering? I mean one of your main reasons for not wanting another is because we are finally at the stage with the kids that we can get alone time and go out on dates and do stuff just you & me, and you want to step back and start all over when the kids will be 10, 13, 15, 18, & 19. . . REALLY?
How do you get from I don't want anymore, ever, to hey lets make 5 yrs an option. The conversation was going so well up until that point. I liked that we could share our thoughts and feelings rationally and calmly, but damn it that was not rational and it sure as hell doesn't make me calm. I seriously have no idea where that came from, it was so far out from left field that I can't even see how the idea got in to your head, much less what made you think to share it. And I sure as hell can't see how 5 yrs from now is a better option over next year, I don't. I get you are scared of what is going to happen once you retire, I am freaked out too! But we have a game plan and we are already starting to put those plans in to motion. Every child we have had has come at a "bad time" financially, emotionally. . . whatever reason there was always a reason why it was bad timing and yet it all worked out, we made it through just fine and a stronger better couple for it. The difference is this time we would be planning it and I think that scares you more than anything. Tossing option 3 into the bag just shows me you aren't opposed to one more, you are just scared to death of what the future holds. Fear cannot be the reason to hold you back, from anything. Don't let fear be the deciding factor, it needs to be what is true in your head and your heart but I can't see how it is when you give an option 3. That is what has me reeling and confused and just. . . not ok now with going ahead with what we decided.
Maybe you are right, we should wait a little while and go see that counselor like you suggested so we have a mediator and someone who can helps us fully 100% reach the right decision on this. While I think we have done a great job on our own talking it out our emotions do get in the way and someone to keep us on track and calm might be what we need.
Saturday, March 13, 2010
Can't I just be sad?
Sometimes I just need to be sad. Like when I know I can't have or do something I desire. It's hard to let go of something that grabs you so firmly by the heart or worms its way into your head. Sometimes I just need to be able to cry it out and release it. I'm not much of a crier so when I need to cry I really just prefer to do that on my own, curled up on my side of the bed, face in my pillow. I know you feel bad because I am crying and you just want to comfort me, I know, and I love you for it. But right now, I just want to be over here and you over there so I can let it flow.
I don't know why all of a sudden I want another baby. All I know is that suddenly I am seeing baby things everywhere and it's tugging at me in a way I could never explain to you. Maybe it is that everyone around me seems to be pregnant or recently given birth, maybe it is that I have hit my prime and my lock has started ticking. The clock doesn't care that I have already birthed four children, not it's fault I was way ahead of the game. I've always said I wanted 6 kids and all of a sudden it just feels like something is missing and baby 6 is out there waiting for us.
Having made no permanent means to prevent any future children has always left the door open. I got an IUD so that we could have time to decide if we were done or if we wanted just one more. The time is drawing closer for the IUD to come out and we haven't really had a good long serious talk about this. Mostly because I have been afraid to talk to you about it. I don't know how to talk to you about. I have been thinking about it randomly here and there over the past year but suddenly it seems to be consuming me. Now that I am thinking about it a lot, I had to bring up the conversation.
I know I can be a stubborn strong willed bulldozer who goes after what I want without much thought to the consequences or even taking your feelings in to account. I am trying though, I really am. I know what a pain in the ass I can be when I get an idea in my head. After we talked I knew that was the be all end all. You don't want anymore and you have good reasons for why you feel that way and all I have for my argument is that I want. Hard to make a pro/con list when the cons are stacked up pretty high against my silly little want.
So with a heavy heart and tear streaked face I am going to tell you the hardest thing I will ever have to say. If you are 100% sure that this is it and you are convinced you are not going to change your mind, then I think it's best if you schedule that vasectomy you sometimes talk about. That is the only fair thing for both of us and puts any possibility to bed. Because right now with there being even the smallest chance that you could change your mind and say you want another one too, it's just going to drive me crazy. Put me out of my misery and make it permanent if you feel that strongly opposed to it. Yes I am going to be sad for awhile, yes I am going to be upset for awhile but you know me, I get over things pretty quickly and move on to the next thing.
Just understand that right now I am mourning. Mourning the fact I will never feel a life moving and growing inside of me, mourning the fact I will never feel the pangs of labor and bring another life in to this world. Mourning the fact I will never nurse a baby, or experience those wonderful firsts, first smile, first word, first I love you. I need to mourn, I need to grieve.
I don't know if I am going to even publish this and if I do I doubt I will leave it up long. I just needed to get those feelings and thoughts out of me and somehow find the strength to tell you what I wrote here. Some days I really do think it'd be easier to be a man, not have all those crazy hormones running through ya, none of those maternal feelings, and to be able to stand to pee!
And now I am very much more confused than I was last night. Now I fully expected last nights conversation to go the way it did, you saying no. But I needed to have that conversation otherwise it was just going to eat at me. But this morning? The hesitation? I don't get it! I thought for sure when I told you I wanted you to go have that vasectomy and the sooner the better you would be jumping for joy and say "I'll call Monday to set up the consultation appt" I didn't prepare myself for you to hesitate. I didn't expect you to want to talk about it more or even say hey maybe we should see a marriage counselor to talk it out.
I just want to close this chapter. I don't want to fight. I want a solid firm decision that there is no way to change our minds on. I need that. Hesitation & flip flopping I have no room for. I can't allow myself to have even that small glimmer of false hope, it isn't fair to either of us. Gahhh!! Why couldn't you just say ok, let's git'r done. Why can't you fully share your thoughts and feelings? I am left dangling in the wind with no clear conclusion and it sucks. Are you afraid to tell me your feelings because you are worried I'll be upset? That isn't a good enough reason! I am trying to respect your feelings on this, I am conceding, why can't I get the same respect? Just tell me what you are thinking, what you are feeling. Why the hell are you hesitant to just go do what you have been sure about doing for so long? Do not lead me on, man up and make a decision because yes ultimately it is up to you. I can't make the appt for you I can't walk into the office and get the V for you, that is all you babe. I am telling you to do it, I am saying here is me vulnerable and wanting something very much but I am respecting your wishes so let's make it final and close this chapter so we can move on to the next one. Or for the love of G-d at least share with me WHY yo are hesitating. Please?
I don't know why all of a sudden I want another baby. All I know is that suddenly I am seeing baby things everywhere and it's tugging at me in a way I could never explain to you. Maybe it is that everyone around me seems to be pregnant or recently given birth, maybe it is that I have hit my prime and my lock has started ticking. The clock doesn't care that I have already birthed four children, not it's fault I was way ahead of the game. I've always said I wanted 6 kids and all of a sudden it just feels like something is missing and baby 6 is out there waiting for us.
Having made no permanent means to prevent any future children has always left the door open. I got an IUD so that we could have time to decide if we were done or if we wanted just one more. The time is drawing closer for the IUD to come out and we haven't really had a good long serious talk about this. Mostly because I have been afraid to talk to you about it. I don't know how to talk to you about. I have been thinking about it randomly here and there over the past year but suddenly it seems to be consuming me. Now that I am thinking about it a lot, I had to bring up the conversation.
I know I can be a stubborn strong willed bulldozer who goes after what I want without much thought to the consequences or even taking your feelings in to account. I am trying though, I really am. I know what a pain in the ass I can be when I get an idea in my head. After we talked I knew that was the be all end all. You don't want anymore and you have good reasons for why you feel that way and all I have for my argument is that I want. Hard to make a pro/con list when the cons are stacked up pretty high against my silly little want.
So with a heavy heart and tear streaked face I am going to tell you the hardest thing I will ever have to say. If you are 100% sure that this is it and you are convinced you are not going to change your mind, then I think it's best if you schedule that vasectomy you sometimes talk about. That is the only fair thing for both of us and puts any possibility to bed. Because right now with there being even the smallest chance that you could change your mind and say you want another one too, it's just going to drive me crazy. Put me out of my misery and make it permanent if you feel that strongly opposed to it. Yes I am going to be sad for awhile, yes I am going to be upset for awhile but you know me, I get over things pretty quickly and move on to the next thing.
Just understand that right now I am mourning. Mourning the fact I will never feel a life moving and growing inside of me, mourning the fact I will never feel the pangs of labor and bring another life in to this world. Mourning the fact I will never nurse a baby, or experience those wonderful firsts, first smile, first word, first I love you. I need to mourn, I need to grieve.
I don't know if I am going to even publish this and if I do I doubt I will leave it up long. I just needed to get those feelings and thoughts out of me and somehow find the strength to tell you what I wrote here. Some days I really do think it'd be easier to be a man, not have all those crazy hormones running through ya, none of those maternal feelings, and to be able to stand to pee!
And now I am very much more confused than I was last night. Now I fully expected last nights conversation to go the way it did, you saying no. But I needed to have that conversation otherwise it was just going to eat at me. But this morning? The hesitation? I don't get it! I thought for sure when I told you I wanted you to go have that vasectomy and the sooner the better you would be jumping for joy and say "I'll call Monday to set up the consultation appt" I didn't prepare myself for you to hesitate. I didn't expect you to want to talk about it more or even say hey maybe we should see a marriage counselor to talk it out.
I just want to close this chapter. I don't want to fight. I want a solid firm decision that there is no way to change our minds on. I need that. Hesitation & flip flopping I have no room for. I can't allow myself to have even that small glimmer of false hope, it isn't fair to either of us. Gahhh!! Why couldn't you just say ok, let's git'r done. Why can't you fully share your thoughts and feelings? I am left dangling in the wind with no clear conclusion and it sucks. Are you afraid to tell me your feelings because you are worried I'll be upset? That isn't a good enough reason! I am trying to respect your feelings on this, I am conceding, why can't I get the same respect? Just tell me what you are thinking, what you are feeling. Why the hell are you hesitant to just go do what you have been sure about doing for so long? Do not lead me on, man up and make a decision because yes ultimately it is up to you. I can't make the appt for you I can't walk into the office and get the V for you, that is all you babe. I am telling you to do it, I am saying here is me vulnerable and wanting something very much but I am respecting your wishes so let's make it final and close this chapter so we can move on to the next one. Or for the love of G-d at least share with me WHY yo are hesitating. Please?
Friday, March 12, 2010
Pick your level? Pick me up off the floor!
Remember yesterday when I said that pilates work out had a fabu core workout but lackd in arms & legs? Well I LIED. This is the first morning I have woken up with sore muscles, everywhere! Oh the pain ::whimpers:: But I am a big girl I can tough it out. Get off my ass get out of bed and go work out again.
Today's adventure was pick your level: weight loss pilates. Same instructor as yesterdays video so I know it's going to be good, not to mention the 4.5 stars on netflix. So level 1 is the beginners obviously up to level 3 advanced. Let me say this now, if I ever reach level 3 I will model nude. That was some hardcore shit there. The level 1 is very basic and I think may have been almost too easy if I weren't in fact sore as hell from yesterdays pilates. I stuck with the level 1 for my sanity and it was good. I feel like it hit every muscle group in my body. Hell my arms are so sore just doing the breathing exercises where you raise your arms up over your head, yeah that was hard. The core work was awesome! I still have this feeling that my glutes and thighs aren't be working because I am not doing a million squats, however based on the way my thigh muscles feel this morning I would say whatever it was I was doing was certainly effective.
I have to be honest and say I almost didn't workout this morning. I stayed up too late for a German yarn update, what can I say, I have a yarn addiction! And that meant when the alarm went off this morning I didn't hear it and must have pushed some button to turn it off. Fortunately Jared is fairly reliable in his waking schedule and was up in time to yell at me for not waking everyone up. I had a hard time getting myself motivated to get out of bed even with the Pixie jumping on me and begging me to make her some toast with butter because my bread is sooo yummy. Oh yeah that reminds me I was going to do a blog with pictures of yesterdays adventures. I'll do it later. Back to me, I forced myself out of bed and came down to sit in my favorite rocking chair. I sat for about 10 minutes before I said to myself "Girl this is NO good. Get off your butt and go work out, it's just 30 measly minutes of your time and if there is something you have to spare it's time. Now move it!" And move it I did.
Today I challenge myself to finish Pixie's dreads, finish a sock, finish the leg of another sock and still cook dinner and after school snack for the kids. Oh yea and that blog with pictures :)
Today's adventure was pick your level: weight loss pilates. Same instructor as yesterdays video so I know it's going to be good, not to mention the 4.5 stars on netflix. So level 1 is the beginners obviously up to level 3 advanced. Let me say this now, if I ever reach level 3 I will model nude. That was some hardcore shit there. The level 1 is very basic and I think may have been almost too easy if I weren't in fact sore as hell from yesterdays pilates. I stuck with the level 1 for my sanity and it was good. I feel like it hit every muscle group in my body. Hell my arms are so sore just doing the breathing exercises where you raise your arms up over your head, yeah that was hard. The core work was awesome! I still have this feeling that my glutes and thighs aren't be working because I am not doing a million squats, however based on the way my thigh muscles feel this morning I would say whatever it was I was doing was certainly effective.
I have to be honest and say I almost didn't workout this morning. I stayed up too late for a German yarn update, what can I say, I have a yarn addiction! And that meant when the alarm went off this morning I didn't hear it and must have pushed some button to turn it off. Fortunately Jared is fairly reliable in his waking schedule and was up in time to yell at me for not waking everyone up. I had a hard time getting myself motivated to get out of bed even with the Pixie jumping on me and begging me to make her some toast with butter because my bread is sooo yummy. Oh yeah that reminds me I was going to do a blog with pictures of yesterdays adventures. I'll do it later. Back to me, I forced myself out of bed and came down to sit in my favorite rocking chair. I sat for about 10 minutes before I said to myself "Girl this is NO good. Get off your butt and go work out, it's just 30 measly minutes of your time and if there is something you have to spare it's time. Now move it!" And move it I did.
Today I challenge myself to finish Pixie's dreads, finish a sock, finish the leg of another sock and still cook dinner and after school snack for the kids. Oh yea and that blog with pictures :)
Thursday, March 11, 2010
Day Three. . . it begins
This marks the 3rd day of my new routine. I slipped yesterday and had a latte, deeply regretted it after getting a massive headache and having trouble falling asleep. Back on the limited coffee bandwagon today!
So the last 2 workouts I tried I complained about the lack of ab work. I am a hardcore ab work lover so missing that element in a workout sucks. Well complain no more! Today I did the crunch: super slim down pilates/yoga routine. Holy abs batman! I didn't feel like I got decent leg or arm workout with this but I definitely got the abs! So to sum up the work outs I have done the last three days;
Day 1 - Self: Bikini ready, fast! I give this 3 stars although the netflix reviews gives it 4-5 stars. Good arm work but lacked in ab & legs.
Day 2 - Crunch: cardiosculpt. I give this one 3.5 stars. Ok on the cardio but I have done better. Decent leg & arm but again lacked the abs
Day 3 - Crunch super slim down. This I give 4 stars. I felt like I got a pretty decent stretch routine with this while giving me an intense ab work out. Th abs come at the end after you have done all of this amazing stretching. Recommend this highly if you want a good yoga stretch and if you want a good ab work. Otherwise it pretty much lacks much in the leg/arm area.
I have about 6 more workouts in my instant queue and several on my dvd queue. I am considering doing the 30 day shred again. Now I did this before and saw no visible or measurable results, maybe because at the time I couldn't even afford to lose 2lbs and that is really what the main focus is on? I am not sure. The workout is fairly intense and gives good arms, legs, abs & cardio rolled into 1 20 minute workout. This time around perhaps I'll try to up the intensity, first however I must renew that inhaler prescription as the cardio really does kill me!
It's time for some hard truth. Sure I am "thin" by many standards but I am very adept at hiding those trouble areas with clothes. I am also on of those "lucky" people that seems to never gain weight with the exception of pregnancy. However I did turn 31 this past October and my mother cursed me, she said "just wait until you are over 30". Well son of a bitch. I went to put on my dress pants yesterday for a meeting and holy shit they would not go over my thighs. It was a workout in itself to get those damn pants up over my thighs, then over my ass and oh my god getting them buttoned. And then i saw the fat rolls hanging over the pants. I nearly cried as i did what any other respectable woman would do, I shoved that fat down into those pants and hid the bulk with a loose long dress shirt. My head is hanging in shame over admitting that but hey what can ya do? Oh I know what I can do. I can make myself stick to working out and getting rid of that flab. After 4 pregnancies I've had that lovely inch to pinch mama pouch on my belly. I have watched it this past few months go from an inch to about 4 inches. Denial was my best friend but yesterday made me realize I can deny no more. That picture of me in a bikini? That was 2 summers ago and then I thought my thighs were looking bad, boy what I wouldn't give to have that back, ha! So in the vein of open honesty, and if Jaime Lee Curtis can do it, I will be taking a portrait, an honest full on picture of myself, my measurements, my weight. I will post them and then post my goal weight & measurements. Every month I will Take a new picture and new measurements to keep myself motivated. This I will do on the 15th of each month, yay< - - -ok that was a sarcastic yay. I am sure noone wants to see me in all my honesty.
Speaking of yesterday, I had that meeting with the Jr High principal. I was fully expecting to go in there all mamabear and fight for my kids right to a higher education. Surprise of all surprises, there was no fight to be had. Mr. B felt just based on what I aid and the fact I was an involved parent advocating for their child and the child themselves were asking for me that he had no problem at all accepting Jared into the 8th grade and transferring school districts! This mean Jared will completely bypass the 7th grade, get out this crappy school district and off to be with peers his own age possibly getting the challenge he craves and WOW does this school have some amazing programs, and the sports oh my the sports! Looks like we are going to be busy as Jared wants to play football, basketball and try out for track. I told him once I get my lungs up to it we will train together for track. Heck maybe it won't be long before I can run a 5k! Now there is a goal to work for.
So now that I have bored everyone to tears yet again, my tea is ready and I have bread dough to rise then bake, snacks to whip up for after school and 2 socks to get completed in a very short amount of time, and somewhere in there pull out my yarn dying kettle and do some fun color experiments :)
So the last 2 workouts I tried I complained about the lack of ab work. I am a hardcore ab work lover so missing that element in a workout sucks. Well complain no more! Today I did the crunch: super slim down pilates/yoga routine. Holy abs batman! I didn't feel like I got decent leg or arm workout with this but I definitely got the abs! So to sum up the work outs I have done the last three days;
Day 1 - Self: Bikini ready, fast! I give this 3 stars although the netflix reviews gives it 4-5 stars. Good arm work but lacked in ab & legs.
Day 2 - Crunch: cardiosculpt. I give this one 3.5 stars. Ok on the cardio but I have done better. Decent leg & arm but again lacked the abs
Day 3 - Crunch super slim down. This I give 4 stars. I felt like I got a pretty decent stretch routine with this while giving me an intense ab work out. Th abs come at the end after you have done all of this amazing stretching. Recommend this highly if you want a good yoga stretch and if you want a good ab work. Otherwise it pretty much lacks much in the leg/arm area.
I have about 6 more workouts in my instant queue and several on my dvd queue. I am considering doing the 30 day shred again. Now I did this before and saw no visible or measurable results, maybe because at the time I couldn't even afford to lose 2lbs and that is really what the main focus is on? I am not sure. The workout is fairly intense and gives good arms, legs, abs & cardio rolled into 1 20 minute workout. This time around perhaps I'll try to up the intensity, first however I must renew that inhaler prescription as the cardio really does kill me!
It's time for some hard truth. Sure I am "thin" by many standards but I am very adept at hiding those trouble areas with clothes. I am also on of those "lucky" people that seems to never gain weight with the exception of pregnancy. However I did turn 31 this past October and my mother cursed me, she said "just wait until you are over 30". Well son of a bitch. I went to put on my dress pants yesterday for a meeting and holy shit they would not go over my thighs. It was a workout in itself to get those damn pants up over my thighs, then over my ass and oh my god getting them buttoned. And then i saw the fat rolls hanging over the pants. I nearly cried as i did what any other respectable woman would do, I shoved that fat down into those pants and hid the bulk with a loose long dress shirt. My head is hanging in shame over admitting that but hey what can ya do? Oh I know what I can do. I can make myself stick to working out and getting rid of that flab. After 4 pregnancies I've had that lovely inch to pinch mama pouch on my belly. I have watched it this past few months go from an inch to about 4 inches. Denial was my best friend but yesterday made me realize I can deny no more. That picture of me in a bikini? That was 2 summers ago and then I thought my thighs were looking bad, boy what I wouldn't give to have that back, ha! So in the vein of open honesty, and if Jaime Lee Curtis can do it, I will be taking a portrait, an honest full on picture of myself, my measurements, my weight. I will post them and then post my goal weight & measurements. Every month I will Take a new picture and new measurements to keep myself motivated. This I will do on the 15th of each month, yay< - - -ok that was a sarcastic yay. I am sure noone wants to see me in all my honesty.
Speaking of yesterday, I had that meeting with the Jr High principal. I was fully expecting to go in there all mamabear and fight for my kids right to a higher education. Surprise of all surprises, there was no fight to be had. Mr. B felt just based on what I aid and the fact I was an involved parent advocating for their child and the child themselves were asking for me that he had no problem at all accepting Jared into the 8th grade and transferring school districts! This mean Jared will completely bypass the 7th grade, get out this crappy school district and off to be with peers his own age possibly getting the challenge he craves and WOW does this school have some amazing programs, and the sports oh my the sports! Looks like we are going to be busy as Jared wants to play football, basketball and try out for track. I told him once I get my lungs up to it we will train together for track. Heck maybe it won't be long before I can run a 5k! Now there is a goal to work for.
So now that I have bored everyone to tears yet again, my tea is ready and I have bread dough to rise then bake, snacks to whip up for after school and 2 socks to get completed in a very short amount of time, and somewhere in there pull out my yarn dying kettle and do some fun color experiments :)
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
lovely little gifts
I love my purr purry kitties, most of the time. And I know they love me. Is it the head butting my hand for a little scratch or the purrs in my face early in the morning that tells me this? Nope. It's the lovely little gifts I find outside on the porch. Now I don't mind too much the dead little moles Aurora likes to bring me, they are easily disposed of without to much of a shudder. This morning however was the best gift, like ever. A big fat still wriggling mole, the biggest I have seen! And that princess Aurora sat by that wriggling fat mole until I opened the curtains and she saw that I saw her gift. Then she trotted over to that mole, scooped him up in her mouth and trotted off in to the woods to enjoy her snack. Insert huge body shudder here. Gross! And what a great way to start my morning.
Back to my morning, it was a little harder to get myself motivated out of bed. I slept until 8:15 despite having fallen asleep at 9:30 last night. I didn't even watch LOST I was so tired! Sleeping in may have had something to do with waking up with the husband's alarm this morning. I hate when that happens, and I contemplated just getting up at 4am. But, yeah I am smarter than that. So when I finally did wake up and log on to facebook the first thing I read this morning was that my boyfriend of 20 years, Corey Haim, had died this morning of a drug overdose. I couldn't help but think how lonely he was, how lost he was. That is truly the tragic part of this, that he was alone and weak. Motivation hit me. Ok ok so I am no drug addict and I am certainly not alone but if I continue my lazy ass ways I could end up lonely and certainly not healthy.
Out of bed I jumped and downstairs I ran, carrying my knitting and laptop along. I set up the tea pot for my after workout tea and got out eggs for my after workout protein breakfast. And then, I worked out for a second day in a row. I can't say that this workout I did today was fabulous, it was slightly confusing to keep up in certain parts. Face it I am uncoordinated and when you try to make me do 5 different steps all at once I am bound to look like a baboon trying to line dance. It's not pretty, but I stuck it out and I kept trying, I didn't give up. The ab work while short was seriously intense and I LOVE love ab work. I can't explain why but it is really the part of the work outs I look most forward to and yesterdays work out really lacked that ab work I desire but was far easier to follow along with. 30 minutes went pretty quickly this morning, and then I whipped up my eggs and brewed my tea and sat down on my ass to blog.
I have a busy day planned, I hope for enough energy and clarity to handle it. A trip downtown again to buy this awesome knitting stitch book and perhaps a few minutes playing at the park, it is a beautiful day so far! The highlight of my day however is the meeting with the middle school's principal to discuss skipping Jared to 8th instead of going in to 7th. This boy is crazy smart and thrives on challenge, something he is not getting. The beginning of the year the school told us "we don't have tests to skip students so we let them in the classroom for a few weeks and let the teachers observe and then recommend skipping or not." Ok, except his teacher? This is his first year teaching so he is inexperienced and lacking in some serious confidence. Talked to the principle again and she says "we'll see what the teacher thinks" and we don't hear from her again. This is where I become the squeaky wheel. I go down to the office again and say look, Jared is finishing all of his classwork and his homework in class and still finishing before everyone else, he is bored! He needs to be challenged and his teacher simply cannot keep up with him and take care of the other 30 students. Principal tells me oh yea yea we have testing now we can do. Hmm magically they now have a test? Nice. So Jared takes the tests and we wait. And wait. Seriously? Dropping the ball again? Awesome! Squeaky wheel goes back to the office. Oh yes that's right Jared took the tests here are his scores, his writing is a bit below grade level and his reading is just at, but I see he is way ahead in math and science. So we talk about skipping and she thinks since his writing is behind that we should only bump him up to 7th grade math (I forgot to mention he is currently in 6th but he should be in 7th based on the homeschool work we were doing) because she worried that if we bump him up a full grade that he might fail and be right back where he started.
I tell her that we are going to discuss it at home and we will get back to her. I am pretty ticked. Ok first of all you don't let a child's handwriting hold them back from advancing for pete's sake! If the child is ahead of everyone else in his class and bored and begging to be taught, begging to learn then don't you do everything in your power to help that child?! Obviously not at this school. So we compromised and had him put in to 7th grade math, which turned out to be a total joke. There are 13 students in his class. On the 1st day he was in there they had a pop quiz, guess he got an A? Yup. Couple of weeks ago there was another test, only 3 passed, guess who had the highest grade? You guessed it. He is still not being challenged, still being taught down to and still bored! So today I am just bypassing this way too young to be a principal principal, and going to the other middle school. Hopefully this principle will be more open to challenging a student. And honestly if he fails then he fails, no harm no foul. Do I think the boy will fail? Not on his life. When he is given a challenge he meets it. If he isn't afraid of failure why should we be? The only way to succeed is to fail and how will he ever succeed if he isn't even given the chance to fail? I know that sounds weird, wait what you want your child to fail? Well, no. I have every confidence that he will do just as well in skipping a grade level as he would if he stayed in the grade they have decided he belongs in. Only by skipping he might actually have a chance at you know, learning something.
The icing on the cake with the school he is attending, aside from the way too young principal who doesn't believe in challenging students? The basketball coach. Would you believe Jared's couch had the nerve to tell him OBJ (the school I am trying to advance him to) doesn't have sports as a way to discourage him from skipping a grade? What the fuck is that? The school has a HUGE sports program! Soccer, Basketball, football! To say I was pissed is an understatement and I have half a mind to say something to this coach, and maybe I will, after Jared has been approved to switch schools and skip a grade.
oh, my tea is done steeping, time to go get my energy boost, get my shower and get moving out of the house!
Back to my morning, it was a little harder to get myself motivated out of bed. I slept until 8:15 despite having fallen asleep at 9:30 last night. I didn't even watch LOST I was so tired! Sleeping in may have had something to do with waking up with the husband's alarm this morning. I hate when that happens, and I contemplated just getting up at 4am. But, yeah I am smarter than that. So when I finally did wake up and log on to facebook the first thing I read this morning was that my boyfriend of 20 years, Corey Haim, had died this morning of a drug overdose. I couldn't help but think how lonely he was, how lost he was. That is truly the tragic part of this, that he was alone and weak. Motivation hit me. Ok ok so I am no drug addict and I am certainly not alone but if I continue my lazy ass ways I could end up lonely and certainly not healthy.
Out of bed I jumped and downstairs I ran, carrying my knitting and laptop along. I set up the tea pot for my after workout tea and got out eggs for my after workout protein breakfast. And then, I worked out for a second day in a row. I can't say that this workout I did today was fabulous, it was slightly confusing to keep up in certain parts. Face it I am uncoordinated and when you try to make me do 5 different steps all at once I am bound to look like a baboon trying to line dance. It's not pretty, but I stuck it out and I kept trying, I didn't give up. The ab work while short was seriously intense and I LOVE love ab work. I can't explain why but it is really the part of the work outs I look most forward to and yesterdays work out really lacked that ab work I desire but was far easier to follow along with. 30 minutes went pretty quickly this morning, and then I whipped up my eggs and brewed my tea and sat down on my ass to blog.
I have a busy day planned, I hope for enough energy and clarity to handle it. A trip downtown again to buy this awesome knitting stitch book and perhaps a few minutes playing at the park, it is a beautiful day so far! The highlight of my day however is the meeting with the middle school's principal to discuss skipping Jared to 8th instead of going in to 7th. This boy is crazy smart and thrives on challenge, something he is not getting. The beginning of the year the school told us "we don't have tests to skip students so we let them in the classroom for a few weeks and let the teachers observe and then recommend skipping or not." Ok, except his teacher? This is his first year teaching so he is inexperienced and lacking in some serious confidence. Talked to the principle again and she says "we'll see what the teacher thinks" and we don't hear from her again. This is where I become the squeaky wheel. I go down to the office again and say look, Jared is finishing all of his classwork and his homework in class and still finishing before everyone else, he is bored! He needs to be challenged and his teacher simply cannot keep up with him and take care of the other 30 students. Principal tells me oh yea yea we have testing now we can do. Hmm magically they now have a test? Nice. So Jared takes the tests and we wait. And wait. Seriously? Dropping the ball again? Awesome! Squeaky wheel goes back to the office. Oh yes that's right Jared took the tests here are his scores, his writing is a bit below grade level and his reading is just at, but I see he is way ahead in math and science. So we talk about skipping and she thinks since his writing is behind that we should only bump him up to 7th grade math (I forgot to mention he is currently in 6th but he should be in 7th based on the homeschool work we were doing) because she worried that if we bump him up a full grade that he might fail and be right back where he started.
I tell her that we are going to discuss it at home and we will get back to her. I am pretty ticked. Ok first of all you don't let a child's handwriting hold them back from advancing for pete's sake! If the child is ahead of everyone else in his class and bored and begging to be taught, begging to learn then don't you do everything in your power to help that child?! Obviously not at this school. So we compromised and had him put in to 7th grade math, which turned out to be a total joke. There are 13 students in his class. On the 1st day he was in there they had a pop quiz, guess he got an A? Yup. Couple of weeks ago there was another test, only 3 passed, guess who had the highest grade? You guessed it. He is still not being challenged, still being taught down to and still bored! So today I am just bypassing this way too young to be a principal principal, and going to the other middle school. Hopefully this principle will be more open to challenging a student. And honestly if he fails then he fails, no harm no foul. Do I think the boy will fail? Not on his life. When he is given a challenge he meets it. If he isn't afraid of failure why should we be? The only way to succeed is to fail and how will he ever succeed if he isn't even given the chance to fail? I know that sounds weird, wait what you want your child to fail? Well, no. I have every confidence that he will do just as well in skipping a grade level as he would if he stayed in the grade they have decided he belongs in. Only by skipping he might actually have a chance at you know, learning something.
The icing on the cake with the school he is attending, aside from the way too young principal who doesn't believe in challenging students? The basketball coach. Would you believe Jared's couch had the nerve to tell him OBJ (the school I am trying to advance him to) doesn't have sports as a way to discourage him from skipping a grade? What the fuck is that? The school has a HUGE sports program! Soccer, Basketball, football! To say I was pissed is an understatement and I have half a mind to say something to this coach, and maybe I will, after Jared has been approved to switch schools and skip a grade.
oh, my tea is done steeping, time to go get my energy boost, get my shower and get moving out of the house!
Tuesday, March 9, 2010
9 months
I am a slacker. I admit this fully and accept my slacker ways. But I want to change. I am a 31 year old stay at home mom with 5 children, a husband in the Navy and no direction in life. Direction has always been a thorn in my side, following them, sticking to them. I always say tomorrow I will ________ fill in the blank with whatever pops into my mind at that moment. Tomorrow I will bake bread, tomorrow I will get up early, tomorrow I will do something with my kids, tomorrow. And then tomorrow becomes today and I repeat my tomorrow mantra. I never do tomorrow what I say I am going to do today.
Like everyone I made a New Years resolution, something I am generally opposed to because it's usually by this time of year that everyone has quit on their resolutions. My sister told me I should make "lazy goals". I can be lazy and play on facebook until 10am, I can be lazy and read blogs until noon but after those times I must GET UP! I must DO SOMETHING. So today instead of saying tomorrow I will. . . I did.
I woke up at 6:30 with the kids alarm. Normally I get out of bed just long enough to yell into the rooms wake up! Then I curl up back into bed and sleep the morning away. This morning I yelled wake up! and climbed back in to bed. I did not go back to sleep, I gave the Pixie some snuggles and I interacted with the kids. At 7:30 i sat up and grabbed my laptop to do my morning Facebooking & Ravelrying. By 8:30 I said OK LAZY TIME IS OVER. Done. I got up and put on some workout worthy clothes, came downstairs and popped in a workout video, grabbed my weights and a glass of water, and I worked out.
I. worked. out. I thought that bared repeating. I felt great! So great in fact I very nearly just took off on a walk around the neighborhood. And then I remembered the naked Pixie watching a movie and the kid sick on the couch with a tummy ache. So instead I turned on the tea pot and brewed myself a cup of yerba mate. It's this fabulous "tea" that is a natural energizer. Rather than my morning cup of coffee I am switching to this tea. It's dark and rich and so good with a bit of honey and half n half. And the best part is I don't have the caffeine high and then crash.
Now don't get me wrong, I LOVE coffee. I love coffee so much that the husband and I plan to open a coffee shop slash mini bookstore slash yarn shop when he retires. I can never give up my coffee but I can reduce the amount I drink for a healthier, happier, more energetic me. I can work out, I can drink tea, I can wake up early, i can go to bed early. I can get off my slovenly ass and DO.
9 months. That is my goal. It takes 9 months to grow and bring a new life in to this world and that is why I have chosen that as my goal. 9 months to get myself in the best shape of my life, to eat healthier (we eat healthy as is but I know we can do better), 9 months to a more active and happy me. 9 months, halfway to my associates degree, half way to totally debt free. I like the sound of that, 9 months to a new life.
Like everyone I made a New Years resolution, something I am generally opposed to because it's usually by this time of year that everyone has quit on their resolutions. My sister told me I should make "lazy goals". I can be lazy and play on facebook until 10am, I can be lazy and read blogs until noon but after those times I must GET UP! I must DO SOMETHING. So today instead of saying tomorrow I will. . . I did.
I woke up at 6:30 with the kids alarm. Normally I get out of bed just long enough to yell into the rooms wake up! Then I curl up back into bed and sleep the morning away. This morning I yelled wake up! and climbed back in to bed. I did not go back to sleep, I gave the Pixie some snuggles and I interacted with the kids. At 7:30 i sat up and grabbed my laptop to do my morning Facebooking & Ravelrying. By 8:30 I said OK LAZY TIME IS OVER. Done. I got up and put on some workout worthy clothes, came downstairs and popped in a workout video, grabbed my weights and a glass of water, and I worked out.
I. worked. out. I thought that bared repeating. I felt great! So great in fact I very nearly just took off on a walk around the neighborhood. And then I remembered the naked Pixie watching a movie and the kid sick on the couch with a tummy ache. So instead I turned on the tea pot and brewed myself a cup of yerba mate. It's this fabulous "tea" that is a natural energizer. Rather than my morning cup of coffee I am switching to this tea. It's dark and rich and so good with a bit of honey and half n half. And the best part is I don't have the caffeine high and then crash.
Now don't get me wrong, I LOVE coffee. I love coffee so much that the husband and I plan to open a coffee shop slash mini bookstore slash yarn shop when he retires. I can never give up my coffee but I can reduce the amount I drink for a healthier, happier, more energetic me. I can work out, I can drink tea, I can wake up early, i can go to bed early. I can get off my slovenly ass and DO.
9 months. That is my goal. It takes 9 months to grow and bring a new life in to this world and that is why I have chosen that as my goal. 9 months to get myself in the best shape of my life, to eat healthier (we eat healthy as is but I know we can do better), 9 months to a more active and happy me. 9 months, halfway to my associates degree, half way to totally debt free. I like the sound of that, 9 months to a new life.
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