School Food Revolution

I know I know, two back to back blogs. I have decided to try and keep the blogs to one subject at a time so if I have more to say, new post it goes in to!

Ever since I saw the first episode of Jamie Oliver's Food Revolution I was sickened and inspired. It was like getting hit over the head and having a fire lit under my ass all at the same time. Now I am not typically slow, ok maybe I am, anyways, my kids for awhile had been asking to have breakfast at home and take lunch to school. I am thinking to myself, say what? I used to love eating breakfast & lunch at school, what is so wrong with what they are eating? Did I ever actually look at their menu? Well, no. After that first episode I looked, I mean really looked at what they were eating and I as disgusted. I couldn't believe that chicken nuggets, french fries, corn & a brownie qualified as balanced or nutritious! Yea sure there may have been a fruit served that day (there usually is a fresh and/or canned fruit offered that the kids must take) but the main portion of their food was processed, fried and/or yellow and all sugar/carbs!

This lead me to start researching, how can we change this? Step 1 find out your districts health & fitness (or wellness) policy. Step 2 have lunch at your kids school. It took me only a week to complete these 2 items and I have to say eating lunch with my daughter was not all that it's cracked up to be. That day there was a fried chicken patty (it as mushy and um kind of gray inside, not at all appetizing) a handful of cold fries, a dab of shredded lettuce and a choice of mandarin oranges or an apple. They also had white or chocolate milk. Most of the kids of course picked chocolate milk, the second ingredient was HFCS and contains almost as much sugar as a can of soda. My daughter ate her fruit first, she loves fruit. Then she forced herself to eat a couple of fries and half of her sandwich. They have a "Duty" that watches over them and yells, forcing them to eat this and that from their plate. Let me say she scared me so much I didn't take a picture of the lunch and I made sure to choke down my meal.

This meal was disappointing but fairly typical to what they serve on a daily basis. As I was leaving one of the secretaries asked if I enjoyed lunch and I said "well, it was kind of well. . . " she picked up and said "interesting huh?" Yeah, you could say that :/

After that I started to do a lot of reading and researching. So much that I was becoming overwhelmed. Now I read many other parents who have done this started out by gathering up a group of people including farmers teachers PTA etc and then going to the school board to present their ideas. Personally I felt that was not how I wanted to go about it. I wanted to talk to the school board personally, tell them my feelings and what I have discovered and see how they feel about it from there. So I started a facebook page, continued to read and waited for the next school board meeting.

last night was that meeting, I got all fancied up and tried to put my nerves in to check. That worked right up until it was time for me to speak, my mouth went try, my body trembled like crazy and my brain went to mush. This from the person who took and excelled in her college speech course. Maybe I need to retake public speaking? Back to the issue, so I gave my spiel and was met with . . . acceptance! Yes there was a little excuse making here and there but for the most part they were happy to have someone take on this project and help bring about change. They have been implementing some changes but it's just not enough. They also gave me the go ahead to restart the garden club and utilize the garden & greenhouses. I am really excited about all of this and so pleased that I took the step to approach the school board first rather than go behind them and getting something started.

Now the real work begins. I am planning to do a screening at the school for parents & teachers showing the documentaries "Two Angry Moms" and "stepping up the plate". I hope there will be many teachers & parents that will get involved and stand beside me on this fight. I also hope our cafeteria workers are as willing to help bring about the change as well. I have been making contacts with the Farm to School program so we can get that going and shall be meeting with some Master Gardeners & an AmeriCorps member to help us get the greenhouses cleaned up and garden ready. There is so much to do even before school gets out and then on through the summer so that we can have a good system in place for the new school year. I am excited and scared to be taking on such a momentous thing and I am looking forward to the rewards as well as the challenges coming my way.

That. . . kind of sucked.

I missed Monday's run due to all the drama llama over here so that made 3 days with no workout (took the weekend off, I don't think I will do that again) and did Jillian Michael's yesterday. The 1st half of that dvd is hard, let me say that again, it is HARD. The second half is easier and sometimes even boring, I kind of wish it was 1 hard circuit 1 easy circuit rather than 3 hard ass circuits 2 easy circuits or whatever. So today kicked off day 1 week 3 of C25K. I hit that first 3 minute jog and I was all YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!

And then I tried the 5 minute. Total and utter FAIL. I think I hit 2 minutes before I crapped out. My next 2-3 jogs really weren't much better but they were all up hill. I feel like a failure. Sure I did the first jog and it felt great but not being able to repeat it made me feel. . . well crappy. I know it takes time and I am so proud of myself for jogging 3 minutes straight, I mean my Goddess last week I was dying over the 90 sec jog, 2 weeks ago I could barely hang on to the 60 sec jog and here today I did 2 & 3 minute jogs? I should be so proud of me so why do I feel like I should have one better?

I do think it's time I invest in an actual scale, my wii fit seems to be a little off. Last week I was 122lbs and this week it says I am just under 115? Yea no way I lost 7lbs in a week mr wii. And while there may not be visible results, my measurements from 2 weeks ago to today show a definite change! I know my sister looks forward to my embarrassing half naked pictures and I did promise one for this month but I just haven't felt like it. Maybe tomorrow :) For now here are my previous & current measurements respectively

waist: 30" then, 28" now
hips: 36.75" to 36"
thigh: 22.5" to 22"
upper arm: 11" to 11.5"

I also did a fitness test and got 22 pushups per minute and 30 crunches per minute. The push ups truly amaze me. A few weeks ago I could barely force out 6-8 pushups and now I can do 22 in a minute? Hell yea! And I could have actually done 50-60 crunches but seeing as how I am a wee tad sore from yesterdays ass kickin I didn't push it and took it slow. But omg I am still just amazed at how far I have come in just a few weeks!

Good bye my smelly cat :(

I got scrappy cat in to the vet today and the vet, with just a thorough physical exam, said it wasn't looking up for him. What we thought was an animal attack may have actually been a car hitting him. The minor injury was his tail was out of socket, which he said would be $300 to fix but the extensive damage was to his pelvis and even with surgery he couldn't promise he'd be totally fixed and the most humane thing to do would be to have him euthanized. I had to think about it for some time as I did sell off some of my most precious yarns (and I do mean precious and hard to get) in order to pay for his treatment and now. . . I am without kitty and yarn. I'm gonna miss smelly cat but I know I made the best choice for him based on the vets recommendation.

In other smelly news, woke up to a backed up toilet that was flooding the bathroom floor. Knowing it was likely a main line issue, I made a phone call to find out what was wrong and get an estimate of the damages. So they guy gets here and he discovered our septic pump had been turned off! He asked if I had heard an alarm and I just looked at him blankly like wtf are you talking about. He showed me the switch and alarm, turned the alarm on and I said there was no way I could have not heard that go off. So likely whomever switched off the pump also turned off the alarm so no one would know the pump was off. My guess it was done maliciously, I just can't imagine our kids, even unwittingly, doing something like this. Once the pump was turned back on everything started moving again. The only issue was that since it had been turned off for so long and had been backing up we would need to snake the line about a ft in length, which would cost $420 to do. No thanks. He told me how to do it ourselves to save money so no we just need to um, get dirty. That's one job I'll leave to the husbeast because really I deal with shit all day long I don't want to climb down in to it!

Thanks to today's excitement I have had a massive migraine and skipped my jog. I can only guess how much harder it will be to get it on tomorrow. I am so not looking forward to week 3 of this C25K. Part of me wants to wuss out and repeat week 2 and try for week 3 next week, we'll see how tomorrow goes first.

smelly cat and skinny bitches

Our scrappy male cat has really done it this time, gone and gotten himself buggered up real good. I am not sure if he was fighting with a coon or getting away from a coyote, either way it's not pretty. We saw him all bloodied up on Wed but before we could catch him (after making a phone call to find out where we might be able to take him) he had taken off. I watched for him for 2 days but really wasn't too worried, he is been taken to the cleaners a time or two before and they were never really bad bang ups. So when I saw him Saturday he was looking beyond pitiful, worse than I have ever seen him. I got him in the house and was almost knocked over by the smell. I got him wrapped up in some towels, put him in a box and off to the er vet we went. With it being right at the end of the pay period we are pretty much broke so had decided we would sign him over to animal services and pray for the best. Well come to find out they couldn't take him b/c we were out of county (yet another downside to living in small town BFE county nowhere), so they cleaned out his wound, wrapped his tail & gave him a shot for the pain. No examination was done aside from the quick rap up job. They did that for us for free and said they couldn't do anything else without an initial $90 exam that had to be paid upfront, something I just didn't have on me at the moment. So we packed him up and brought him home.

I gave him a bath last night and set him up in my bathroom with clean dry towels, water, & food. I check on him to give him cuddles, change his bedding and try to get him to eat and drink. No food and just barely any water has me worried he may be in shock and getting dehydrated :( I'm pretty sure he is urinating on himself but I can't see a reason for it beyond a banged up tail. It doesn't look as if his hind side has been damaged but it may just be I am missing something, I am after all no animal expert and he is a very hairy cat. I just hope that some TLC, some stitches if necessary and a round of antibiotics will be all he needs but we'll find out for sure at the vet tomorrow. It's going to be a long day I can just feel it.

How does skinny bitches fit in to this blog? It doesn't really but a gal I know who writes a fabulous blog brought up today something I deal with a lot. The hypocrisy & out right rudeness in regards to thin/skinny women. Why it seems socially acceptable to ridicule a thin woman to her face for being thin but heaven help you if you comment to someone overweight. Why is it ok to tell a skinny chick to eat a cheeseburger but not ok to tell a fat girl to put the cheeseburger down? Double standards they do exist.

I can't even tell you how often I have been told to eat something. Have you people ever seen me eat? My dad used to swear I suffered from hollow leg syndrome because I could pack away so much food. I still can, just ask the cashier at McDonald's ;) Oh but my favorite is when someone asks why I need to work out, I'm so thin as it is. So I have to be fat to want to be in shape? Ummmm, huh? Look clothes on a person can be very deceiving to how they actually look. I know what to wear to cover up the "flaws" and I am also aware that this year those saddlebags & the mom pooch have started to catch up with me. Muffin top, I haz it. I can admit it! I am proud of what my body has done to grow and nurture 4 hellion crotch fruits, I love my body. Is it wrong for me to want it to be the best body it can be? Don't criticize me for being thin, how ridiculous. Don't tell me to eat something when you have no idea the amount of food I consume and don't act offended when I say I do eat well and I am somewhat active but that my genes play a huge part in the fact I am thin.

Now listen up. Real women have more than just curves, real women have no breasts, saggy breasts, pointy breasts, full breasts. Real women have bony hips, voluptuous hips, hips made for birthing and hips so tiny you could crack em with a toothpick. Real women are tall, short, pudgy, skinny, angry, loving, but mostly real women are beautiful no matter their size, their shape, their bra cup, their waist measurement or how many rolls they have on their thighs or in some of our cases the lack there of. Saying real women have curves is a slap in the face to all of the real women without curves. Talk about setting up negative body image no matter what your size. All women are real women, period. And you know what? This skinny bitch is jealous of women who can wear real sizes. When womens/misses sizes are 2 sizes too large do you know what a 30 some year old mother to 5 gets to pick from to wear? Yea the juniors section. How embarrassing that my only clothing options are buying from the teeny bopper section. I am too old for those clothes but apparently "women" don't wear sizes below a 6-8 and those that do deserve to wear totally age inappropriate teen chick clothes. Yay. Can't we please have the Lane Bryant designer create a skinny bitches line so we can wear adult clothes too? Is it really too much to ask that we have appropriate clothes and don't get snarked at? You know what, love your body and yourself. And if you don't love your body than how about do something about it rather than be mean & hateful to those of us on this side of the coin. We may be thin but we have feelings too.

RAAAAAAWWRRRRRRRR

I am STRONG. I am WOMAN. I am AMAZING! I just wrapped up week 2 of the couch 2 5k program and week 7 of my return to fitness and better health. Let me say how much these 2 things today are major milestones for me. 1 -- I am eating hella better and on a much better schedule. I haven't been skipping meals or scrimping on the food which has helped me feel better & more energetic. 2 -- I have never EVER stuck to a program longer than 28 days, kid you not. Rumor is it takes 23 days to create a new habit so why do I quit 5 day past that point? Because I want instant results and when I don't see them I get discouraged and just give up. 3 -- I did 7 jog/walk combos today which is 4 more than I managed on either Mon or Wed's runs, partially due to this respiratory crap I've had going on in my lungs, most of which I managed to hack up yesterday. After I hit my 4th combo I was literally grinning ear to ear which gave me the stamina and encouragement to push on and really work it.

I really struggled with the energy issue today. It's coming towards the end of the month and closer to that time, yeah you know what time I am talking about. It just sucks every last bit of energy right out of me. But I got up off my sore ass (my abs and arms and chest and thighs and ok everything! is sore from JM yesterday) put on my running shoes and hit the pavement. The first 5-10 min all I could think was about how tired I was and how boring it is to run without music or someone to talk to so I am very proud of myself for persevering and making today my best one yet. And now I am totally 100% ready for my weekend off. Maybe just maybe I'll get some for fun baking done.

Sadist (Kimberly this blog is for you, babe!)

Hmm blogging immediately after an intense workout may be a bad idea. Forgive my trembling fingers typos kthx! I have enjoyed the kick ass Envy girl workouts but I have to switch it up every so often so I do not get bored. I have done the 30 day shred and it was good but meh I never saw any results like I expected to. Today I opened up my red netflix envelope and what was inside but JM's no more trouble spots dvd. 40 minutes of serious ass kicking youbetchya. There is no way I could have done this workout 5-6 weeks ago. It was NOT easy but just enough of a challenge to make my body burn, my legs arms & even fingers tremble and get my heart rate up without the intense cardio of the 30 day shred that made it hard for me to breathe through the program. I give it a 2 thumbs up! I think I'll use this for the next few weeks and see how things go. I may also look into a gentle yoga program for after my jog workouts to really give myself a good stretching cool down.

Note to self

When you skip a strength training day and decide to track it on to your jogging day do not by any means chose to do legs or buns workout and expect to actually have your leg cooperate with a jog. Next time do your strength training on the right day or do arms/abs if you need to combine one day. Otherwise, just skip it man because today? Today sucked ass. I am sure it doesn't help that my lungs are congested which makes breathing hard but then your legs were already not very happy with you during your bun workout did you really think they were going to play nice when you made them JOG UP A FRACKING HILL?? And OMG I am SO hungry! It is not fair! I want more food!! I am already eating 3 times as much food as I did before I began this program and well the weight I have gained just proves it. Ps totally up another 1.5lbs for a total of 122lbs at weigh in today. The fact that my pants all still fit the same (except that one damn dress) must mean that the 6.5lbs is muscle weight but when am I going to start seeing that muscle? Right now all I still see is the fat & flab. I am going to give this until June 1 and if I don't see visible, measurable results I may just have to get drastic up in here.

See this is what happens when I blog at night and don't get to finish. I have no idea what else I was going to write about. I am pretty sure it had something to do with Pixie or maybe the other kids.

I did get a very surprising and most awesome phone call last night. My oldest, Ethan, called just to chat. He sounded so happy, a vast improvement from the last few times we have talked. We chatted for about 1.5 hrs about silly things. It was perfect. I can't even begin to explain how happy I was, giddy even, to be having just a laid back giggly conversation with him. The last few times have been such downers that I haven't anted to call him. Now I just can't wait for him to come back home :D

Knock on wood

I know as soon as I write this I will have totally jinxed myself so I am knocking on wood preemptively. Saturday while we were at Sub Ball the inlaws stayed with the kids. Pixie slept in her own bed, or well rather she slept in bed with Rory but it was in her own room. Thinking, hmmm perhaps she might just be ready to move on over there now right? Except she was having none of that Sunday nor Monday. So here it is Tuesday and starting at around 730-8pm she as begging me to go lay down in bed and snuggle. Problem was I as just binding off a project I had been working hard on all week and then I needed to make my bedtime snack and the kids school lunch. About 9pm I realized she wasn't asking for me anymore so I asked Rory where she was and she told me that she was sleeping with Eliza Dolittle (one of our kittens). Sweet! She put herself to sleep! So I pick her up and move her to her bed and she stays there for about an hour before waking. I snuggled her in her bed for about 1 minute, literally, before laying her back down and leaving. We are approaching hour 2 in her bed, in her room! Part of me is afraid to go to sleep, what if she wakes up and it takes me to long to rouse so I can get her settled back down before she becomes too awake? The sane part of me says sleep now while you can and take up the entire damn bed while you are at it because you tomorrow night this won't be happening.

Maybe the trick in all of this is to get her to put herself to sleep and then move her to her bed. The downside to this is husband wants to be in bed around 730 and that's just a little too early for the Pixie. Truth be told it's a little too early for me too and is contributing to my poor sleep habits as my body no longer sees bed as the sleeping place but rather the watch shows or movies and knit place. Or in tonights case, the blogging place. Just been too buy of a day to sit and blog, also too busy to have done my strength exercises today which means cardio & strength tomorrow to make up for it. Bad Jennie, Bad!

week two baby!

That's right, week two of the c25k is here! I walk/jogged 1.7 miles in 25ish minutes, I could do better but hey considering the hills in this 'hood it's not too bad at all. I have also begun following the sparkpeople meal plan, today is day 1. At first I thought no way can I eat all of this food! Well surprise surprise it isn't as much as it seems and your body burns through it quickly so I am actually, surprisingly, HUNGRY. So hungry I could eat my dinner and go back for thirds.

To make me even hungrier I made the yummiest hummus with sesame oil and I tell you I just want to lick that bowl clean, or take a bath in it, whichever. It's that good people. And so much cheaper & healthier than the store bought stuff. Totally a win-win if you ask me.

Oh yes, finally the dinner timer is buzzing which means I can put some food in my bellay!

Tired

Oh so very tired and lacking in motivation this week. I have no idea why I am feeling so blah but not only am I tired I am also moody and cranky. Now before you go jumping in and saying "is it PMS?" let me say no, it's not, too early for the PMS monster to be raging. I need to make 4 loaves of bread today, dinner for tonight and prep dinner for tomorrow, and I also need to make snacks for the kids for the weekend and of course go on my jog today. Not to mention clean my room, including sheets & comforter change, clean the bathroom, and fold & put away laundry. Maybe I can bribe a kid to vacuum for me. But honestly I'd rather sit here on my butt in my rocker, watching tv or movies and maybe even knitting. Maybe it's a sign I need to get more sleep so I will be full of energy tomorrow evening for our sub ball!

Mulligan

How is it possible to want a do over when the week is barely half way done? It's just been one of those weeks. First I totally screw up husband's anniversary socks by knitting one 2" longer than the other. Don't ask, I have no earthly idea how I could mess that up so bad! Then I mess up the bank acct. And yesterday was just double whammy. Instead of following my instinct on a hoagie roll recipe I blindly followed said recipe and the hoagies came out more like weapons. These things were so hard you could have tossed them in a sack and knocked someone unconscious with a good whack on the head. The real kicker? I have been planning for months my "theme" for Sub Ball. Going totally against everything I am I was going as a fairy tale princess, including "glass" slippers! I've had this dress for awhile waiting for the right Sub Ball to wear it to, it' a soft pink satin with beautiful bead work on it. Like I said so not me. I bought the shoes, the hair piece, the make up and was knitting these incredible thigh high stockings while a dear friend made me a beautiful beaded shawl. Last night I decided to try it on to make sure husband could zip it (the zipper has been a little sticky) only to discover that the 5lbs I have gained this past month has made me too big for the dress!

Now if that ain't a kick in the ass I don't know what is. I am just thankful I held on to the dress from 4 years ago (I actually had to gain weight to wear it as it couldn't be altered to fit perfectly) and wouldn't you know, it fits great. Not what I wanted to wear however. So now the shoes, stockings & shawl are out and I am upset. A friend suggested a colonic & spanx, and you know I would almost consider something that extreme but instead i am just going to go with the flow and have fun despite my dress change.

Now I need to get my energy up as today as the start of week 2 of the c25k plan and I have to admit I am not sure I am looking forward to increasing my jog time to 90 seconds.

Week 5

Has it really only been 5 weeks since I began my workout plan? According to my blog "9 months" then yes, yes it is. I feel like it has been longer than that and was starting to feel really discouraged that I am not seeing results. So in honor of completing 5 weeks (the longest I have gone!) I am going to post some stats and kill me now another picture (I'll have to edit it in later). So based on stuff from wii fit I was 115lbs and 18% BMI which is considered underweight and a center of balance that leaned to the left. That was 4 weeks ago. Today my center of balance is perfectly centered (wow!!) I am up to 119.5 lbs and a 19.4% BMI which is considered "normal" Then the stupid wii tells me I should be 136 lbs with a 22% BMI. Bwahahahaha, yeah no. 136 is post pregnancy weight and it's not pretty. Now seeing as I am not actually seeing any physical results yet it is encouraging that there are actual results. One of the reasons I may not have been seeing the results I want is due to nutrition. I have begun to use spark people an I can see where I am lacking in some things but too much in others. I used to think I didn't eat enough but with this program I can see that for the most part I do reach calorie & protein markers but some days I miss the mark on calorie, fat & carbs, and then other days I have a little bit too much of all of them. As I struggle with cooking more from scratch and less processed foods all while staying under budget it will take some figuring out to meet all of my nutritional goals.

I am getting ready to begin week 2 of the c25k, that is tomorrow. I am nervous as the 60 sec jog has been a challenge, bumping it to 90 sec may be my undoing! The weather however is beautiful and certainly incentive to get out there and push myself. As is the fact that summer will be here soon and I'd like to look damn sexy in my bikini thank you very much.

I know I took measurements of myself before I began my workout routine but for the life of me I cannot figure out what the heck I did with them, a secret post, piece of paper I tossed, who knows! Today's measurements will be my starting point I suppose, so here goes, no holding back ::eek::

shoulder: 38"
bicep: 11"
chest: 33"
waist: 30"
hip: 36.75"
thigh: 22.5"
calf: 14"

and a picture of inspiration, these are the bitches kicking my ass in workouts (and boo I couldn't find a pic that wasn't heavily airbrushed)

A new day

Don't you hate when things come crashing in on you? Yeah, me too. I admit it I am terrible with money, always have been. I try to be responsible and for the most part I am. Except this one little problem I have, a yarn buying and swapping addiction. Now I have previously put myself on a no buying no swapping ban and that worked. Then this past month I threw caution to the wind, started stalking my favorite German yarn updates, started swapping and for some reason these two little things open the flood gates for spending money on other non necessities. When I get into this buying fog I pay no attention to what I am doing or how much I am spending, or even what the bank account looks like until it is to late. Wake up call!! So then I have to scramble to sell off a bunch of yarns to put the money back in our account, which of course makes me feel sick and reminds me why I put myself on the ban to begin with.

Addictions are hard, especially for someone with bipolar. Sure there could be worse things I could be addicted to but my drug is yarn. Now that reality has slapped me squarely in the face I have put myself back on the no buy/swap ban, and removed myself as a moderator on the swap group I started. I even put that forum down at the bottom of my list so it wasn't right in my face every time I logged on to Ravelry. That should help. Besides I needed to put that group on the back burner anyways as modding in there is time consuming and sometimes very negative. This should hopefully free up some of my wasted time to devout to cooking, cleaning & knitting. Gah look at me, domesticated. Sick ain't it?

Then today was day 2 of the c25k training. Um, ouch. Today was much harder than day 1, the hills in this neighborhood are seriously killer. I so wish we had a track I could run over here. I might have to try out the nature trail sometime and see how that changes the workout. I have been using sparkpeople.com to track my fitne & nutrition. It is so weird I always thought I didn't eat enough food but I am finding I eat over my suggested calorie & fat intake! Crazy right? My breakfast this morning was half of my daily intake. Of course I knew it would be bad since the breakfast was so not healthy but damn. Yesterday I was 200-500 over my calorie intake and it was all good for you healthy food. I guess I still have some changes to make to my eating habits. I will love myself for it in the end!

C25K

I kept hearing about this program, 7-9 weeks to being able to run a 5K in 30 minutes. I used to love running but quit during my teen years. So now I am serious and I am going to get back in to it along with my regular workout plan following the Envy Girls on fittv (or hulu if you are without tv like we are).

Today was Day 1. My new running shoes arrived yesterday and I just couldn't wait to try them out. Let me say the shoes are fab (thanks Nike!) but our roads are rough. They are the gravel paved variety, uneven, and we live in a hilly area, so much fun! Took my 13yo out with me (and the littles tried to keep up but they quit not even halfway through) since he is training for the track team. The first few 60 sec jogs were hard but by the end I was feeling the endorphin kick and almost turned the 20 minute session into a 30 minute one. I knew it was better to stop however since it was my first day. Bonus of today's session? It was a gorgeous sunny (albeit very cold and windy) day here in the PNW so I got my weeks worth of Vitamin D, yay for sun!!

Along with my get fit get healthy plan I have been trying to cook more from scratch and rely less on convenience foods, which also means packing lunches for the kids. My grocery bill went up but all in all not by much especially as today was a stock up while it's on special kind of day. Otherwise I bet I could have kept my bill at around $100-120. Next shopping trip should be under $100 and that is my goal. Figuring out different things to pack for the kids lunches is a bit of a pain in the behind but I am confident we will figure it out and slowly move to a semi veg lifestyle. Nothing wrong with meat, I personally love it, I just don't love the conditions from which our meat comes from and buying organic humanely raised meats is far out of our current budget.

Baking day

I have been baking. . . a lot. Trying to get away from all the processed food crap that while we don't rely too much on we do still tend to use every so often. I can't believe how quickly the kids eat through the homemade goodies, but then they do know what's good. Today is a particularly hard baking day though as my AFS seems to be rearing up. I hate days like this when it flares up and I can barely focus, I have no patience and I can barely speak coherently. It has been much better this winter than last thankfully. I am hopeful that by moving even more away from the processed foods and exercising and sticking to my supplements all will have a major impact on how I feel physically. For today I am just pushing through and pray I will be able to make dinner tonight since it is all from scratch including the corn tortilla's for the fish tacos. Because I am just that damn good ;-)

Finally I am getting back in to knitting as well. This past week has been so incredibly busy that I just haven't had the time or the energy to get anything done. Now I am on a roll and whipping out some projects. Especially good since I have a very special pair of thigh highs that must be completed by April 17. No pictures however as I am planning to submit them for publication to the online magazine knitty.com. Here are some recently finished projects

The Jared's

Double Trouble? Not really! Jared has a a friend name Jared who also comes from a large family. They have become practically inseparable and I am not complaining. Other Jared is just like my oldest son Ethan so he fits right in with our family. His younger sister is also classmates with Xander and those 2 are also BFF's. Lately I have been talking a lot to Other Jared's mom Jessica and learning a lot about him and his home life. I feel for both of them (for reasons I won't divulge on my public blog) but I am very thankful that we can provide a place for Other Jared to go where he feels safe and happy. We treat him as one of us which makes him feel comfortable and relaxed, something he needs. Jessica tells me all the time she is thankful for us and all we do for him and has been trying to find ways to show us appreciation. I have to admit that part makes me feel a little weird. We love Other Jared and love having him here, he has never been a burden or caused any problems. He is a great friend for our Jared and that's really all we care about. Plus hey, I love that we are the cool house that all the kids want to come to, makes it easier to keep up on what our kids are doing!

The boys have been cleaning out the garage, getting it organized and making room so they can turn it into the awesomely awesome jim jammin teen room o' fun. They have done a pretty darn good job so far! I guess the boys have been talking about how they want/need more stuff for their room so Jessica has decided to buy them a game table to put out there. On the one hand it's totally awesome and something we wouldn't be able to afford to do and I know the boys will love it but on the other hand it just feels weird. What if the boys have a falling out and Other Jared wants the table back at his house? Or? I don't know maybe I am just being silly and should accept it with humbly in the spirit that it is being given.

Another thing I have learned is that Jessica can't cook so they live on frozen foods or take out. Pretty standard it seems these days right? She found out I cook a lot and make many of my own foods so looks like I will be giving her some cooking lessons and tips on grocery shopping etc. I love that both Jared and I are having an impact on this family! Oh which reminds me what Jessica was saying to me today! Jared has been a great influence on her Jared! I cannot even tell you how much this makes me go all mushy in side. See I used to worry Jared was going to have a lot of problems as he got older. He used to have severe anger issues, very volatile and destructive at times. I'll be honest and say it was getting to the point that I was scared. Now I am not sure what the turning point was with him, maybe a year away from all of us (and teasing siblings) where he got one on one attention at his grandparents, or an acceptance of how is life was, or just him growing up and maturing. You'd never know he was just barely turned 13 as mature as he is now. He has always been a little more mature than the other kids his age but now it's even more obvious the more I get to see other kids his age and in his class. I keep hearing from others what a mature, kind, smart, caring, intelligent child he is and I tell you I could not be prouder! You spend your parenting years worrying you are screwing your kids up or doing something wrong but then there comes the day you see all those years of worry and frustration were all worth it and you get rewarded with this awesome human being that you helped shape. Gush gush gush!

Now for my daily work out update. Abs of Envy, abs of HOLY MOTHER OF A BISCUIT I THINK I'M GOING TO DIE! And I LOOOOVE it! Finally I have found the work out system that gives me what I want. We have already established I am a die hard ab fan and have found that pretty lacking in the other work outs. I will tell you though the Girls of Envy are hardcore (and they are hot too so that makes the work out at least easy on the eyes). The best things about their workout systems is even though the focus of a work out may be on a specific body part, you are using your entire body and engaging all of your muscles plus getting cardio. All very important elements since target toning generally doesn't work on it's own and you need the full system to see results. My ass has been sufficiently kicked and I can feel results after just 3 work outs,which makes me excited and hoping to see results in 4 weeks, now wouldn't that just make me giddy?

Ignored

Ever feel like you are intentionally being ignored? From most people I just don't give a damn, but when the ignoring cold shoulder is coming from a very dear friend it hurts. I don't like the feeling that I get from it at all, and over having differing views regarding the health care insurance reform no less. I said my thoughts on it, I backed it up with credible information and then I backed away so that we didn't argue an say things that would later be regretted. But by standing up for my thoughts and for saying hey fact check before you get riled up and post fear mongering lies I could possibly lose one of the best friends I have ever had. You know the kind of friend that no matter how much time or distance passes between you, you can pick up a conversation right were you left off at? The kind where you don't have to talk because you are such kindred spirits that words are superfluous. That's what makes it that much harder, that one disagreement would put a rift between us and end it. I wish I was just imagining it, that it was all in my head and I am just being selfish and self centered (hey it's been known to happen before!) but I don't think it's the case. I never would have pegged her for the passive aggressive cold shoulder giver.

New topic, that was depressing. I got up and did the Buns of Envy workout today. Um, yeah. I said I wanted a challenge and I found it. This one literally kicked my ass. When it was over I was too nauseous to even have my after workout snack like I always do. Poor Pixie (who so sweetly went and got the snack for me when she saw I was done) was surprise when I turned down the treat she brought. It took me about 20 minutes to recuperate before I could even think about getting in the tub! I am still feeling it and I just know tomorrow I will wake up with some very sore legs and buns. Which means I will likely work on my arms or abs tomorrow and let my poor legs have a break. And that P90x might really be a bad idea if a 20 minute bun workout laid me out lol