Thursday, June 3, 2010
At a crossroads of sort
I have really been struggling with the fact that despite working out and eating great I am not seeing any visible signs of improvement and rather than losing a little weight I have gained weight. I used to never really worry about what my body looked like or how much I weighed, it simply wasn't a concern of mine. I've always been thin, had a little flab but nothing that bothered me. So this past winter when I realized that little bit of flab had increased and I wasn't looking as trim as I did 2 summers ago I made a plan to change that. Four months ago I said I was going to stick to a fitness routine, working out in some form every day and eating better (which wasn't too much of a stretch since we ate pretty well on a normal basis). Everything I have read says you should be seeing results in as few as 6 weeks but could be 8, here I am 12-13 weeks. I didn't stop at 6 weeks and quit b/c I couldn't see results, something I have done in the past. I kept going at weeks, got really pissed off at 10 weeks and now I am just depressed. I feel great after I workout so I have no plans of stopping, I like how I feel for the first few hours after a workout, so much so I wish I could have that feeling all day long. What depresses me is knowing I am doing all of this work and nothing is changing. It really shouldn't be that hard should it? I have a high metabolism, always have so is that now working against me? I don't understand how I can work out 5-6 days a week for 3+ months and have nothing change other than the scale going up. It makes me want to quit, I am tired of counting and measuring every little thing I eat or drink, I am tired of asking myself will this treat put me over my cal/fat/carb count for the day? Eating feels more like a chore now than a part of my life and it shouldn't feel that way! I shouldn't feel this way! When will the changes I have made and strive to continue making show me some results?