Now that was a self esteem killer

Just when I am thinking woohooo exercise is finally starting to work, I go bathing suit shopping. Dun dun dunnnnnnnnnnn. Seeing your ass and thighs in a 3 way mirror is traumatizing to say the least. I hadn't actually planned to go 'kini shopping yet but figured what the hey I am already at the store getting new suits for the girls. Uhhh no. Just no. I have never been so honestly disgusted with how my body looks, and cursing the pear shape I seem to have acquired. Husband says "so I guess we won't be going to the beach huh?" Arg. I am going to the beach doGdamnit, even if I have to wear shorts over whatever fucking suit I settle on. I refuse to go home and not go to the beach.

I told him next year tax refund I am going in for the mommy makeover, lipo on my thighs, tummy tuck to nip that lil pooch, and breast augmentation. Never thought I'd be that vain but I guess I am and you know what? I am ok with that. That doesn't mean I will stop working out or stop eating healthy, I rather enjoy those things. Imagine me, enjoying exercise. Who would have ever guessed that? Certainly not me the person who usually quits after 4 weeks but has now been a regular exerciser for 5 months! And no, I am not expecting to get my prebaby body back, I wasn't really a fan of it either. I want better ;)