Losing control, it happens

I have really prided myself on how well I have handled contest prep and it flowing well in my regular routine. Now I have always said I am not the routine type, I am a fly by the seat of my pants, what happens happens, kind of person. I discovered this week I am very very much the routine type. You see up until last week my routine was fairly boring and routine. Get up, drive the husband to the vanpool, come home and do dishes, make coffee, get kids up for school . . .and so the day progresses. Nothing really exciting you know? A little tv here, a lot of facebook there, go to the gym blah blah blah. Nice and comfy. And then I joined Team Save Fitness and holy balls did my routine fly right out of the window and my life went from boring and predictable to insanely busy! Trips to Renton to train with Tanji Johnson, posing clinics, field trips for the kids and kids with the chicken pox. I am still not done, I have more training this month, team camp, posing class, meeting with an image consultant and my suit designer, and I am sure more field trips and more kids with chicken pox, on top of running my business and I am supposed to be starting my PT job at the produce stand any day now. That leads us into the whole losing control thing. All of the past week+ activities started to catch up to me and I was losing sleep on top of it. Two days ago started a downward spiral into bingeville. I am not a binger, I am not an emotional or stress eater and generally I don't really eat sweets. I had a big bite of my sons birthday cake and it was so delicious, suddenly it was like a sugar trigger had been set off. I couldn't stop eating the frosting candy bits from the cake. Later that night I ate 2 cookies and made a fluffernutter sandwich (if you have never had one of these omg eat one!). I woke up yesterday with the resolve to stay on track, and figured being on another field trip it would be pretty simple to do right? Wrong. It started out innocently enough with a cookie, and then another cookie, then a huge ice cream cone, chocolate covered pretzel bites, some potato chips . . . I came home and said to myself I am going to bed and I don't plan to eat anymore. Yea that didn't really last long. Made a buffalo chicken wrap, had a grilled cheese with tomato soup, rice cakes, mini cookies, chocolate froyo popsicle, gummie bears. Yea it was bad. I finally fell asleep but then was woken up by my husband bringing up my last meal of the night. I woke up miserable, I felt like I needed to throw up, my stomach was so bloated it almost looked like I was having a food baby, and yet I ate that snack he brought up. I woke up this morning and while I felt better I knew it wasn't going to be pretty. My abs are gone and they feel bruised (wtf?) ad I am up 5lbs. Of course I know it's all glycogen and water and will go down in the next day or two but I feel even worse for what I put my body through. I talked to friends and that helped me work through what happened and how I lost control like I did. It happens, it's "normal" and I just need to pick up and move on. That is exactly what I plan to do. Along with that I need to set my schedule better and learn I simply cannot do it all. I may be super but I am also human and humans have limits and breaking points. I think I found mine! Today, fresh start, new day. Back on track focused on my goals. I will remember exactly how miserable I felt and feel with that major food binge so I don't have a repeat. I also can see that any plans I had to eat loosey goosey after my comp will not happen, my body just does not like it one single bit!

The insanity has begun!

Man what a week this has been! I made the decision to join Tanji Johnson's Team Save Fitness and things have been a whirlwind! We had our initial consult and posing practice on Thursday which was a lot of fun and I learned quite a bit. I adore this woman, she is so charismatic, bubbly, friendly, genuine! I nearly kissed her when she told me I had no visible cellulite and how nice it was I didn't have any back fat rolls as many competitors do still at this stage. Hmm I don't think I have ever had back fat rolls! Friday was a very long 12 hour day with Victoria's class for a field trip and then I was right off to the gym for training. Saturday was back up at Tanji's gym for our first team posing class. This is where I really felt the burn, posing for an hour is not easy. Hell bikini posing in general is very hard on the body. There is a lot of back arching, chest lifting, tummy sucking, hip twisting, shoulder rotating positions to contort your body into. Finding the right pose for your body in both the front and back pose stances can be tricky. Thank goodness for this team and all of the posing practices we have! Today was yet another busy but not as busy day, to Oly for hoop class, to the gym for training, posing and pictures, and then home to discover 2 more cases of kids with pox! So Pixie has recovered and has been back in school all week and now the other 4 will be out of school this week. I had been looking forward to my quiet Monday to make phone calls and catch up on clients meal plans. I'll still be doing those things but now I will have to do it with kids in the background. And then the rest of this week is more insanity with a field trip on Tuesday with Pixie, teaching a training to Nate's division on Wed, Thursday will be an image consultation and training with Tanji, Friday wow I think I have Friday free, Saturday is a fairwell party to some dear friends, and Sunday is hoop class and a wellness presentation. The week after that should be quieter with just having a suit fitting/consultation possibly. As far as I know at the moment nothing is planned for that week, I really really really hope it stays that way!

Food as fuel vs food as entertainment

This is something I see come up a lot, especially the more I read into this beast called bodybuilding competing. When it comes to food and contest prep there is a fine line between being overly obsessed and having a healthy relationship with food. I can see how easy it is to cross that line! As someone who has always enjoyed food, and growing up in the south spent many a weekend at social gatherings that were very foodcentric. No matter what food always seemed to be the center of all events! Now I am in prep mode and while I still enjoy a very large range of foods and certainly have learned how to create basic foods into amazing fun foods I do look at food a bit differently. It is the fuel for my body, my muscles. It is what powers my workouts and keeps me healthy on the inside. I eat to workout, not workout to eat. Oh well maybe I do workout to eat, I have some amazing postworkout foods ;) However, just because I do have this healthy relationship with food, seeing it as my fuel, does not mean I don't or can't see food as entertainment! This is where I think the line gets crossed from healthy to obsessive. In my opinion if you only view food as one or the other, there is a problem. You need a healthy balance of fuel and fun, when it becomes so strict it's only fuel or you just don't give a rat's hiney and food is all about enjoyment, it's time to take a look at what is going on deep inside. I read a comment snarking on girls that create post comp food binge menus. For some, the ones who prep the insane way, this can spell disaster. For others it can be a way of putting specific food wants down on paper and out of their heads. I've been on a fantastic nutrition plan since August of 2011, not a long time really but certainly no room in there for some of my favorite occasional treats. I'm not an emotional eater, I have no emotional attachment to any food. I have a post competition fun food list. Will I eat all the items on my list? Oh heck no! I know my body can't handle all of that crap LOL plus I have no plans of having a post comp rebound. Or maybe I will have every item on my list, 1 bite of each. All things in moderation I say! I do plan to let loose and just enjoy some good eats the week after my comp, I want to relax, chill out and not think about calories or weighing portions etc. So what are your thoughts? Can food be both fuel and entertainment? Do you balance out the fun with the necessary, or do stay pretty strict with your food all year round?

9 weeks to go!

It's crunch time baby! The single digit countdown has begun to my first bikini comp! I've had a lot of ups and downs this week. I know I am at the stage where I have to bust my ass hard for very little calculable results and that stresses me out a little. While I know technically my physique is stage ready for this region it is not the physique I want to take on stage. I know I am going to have to start reigning myself in on the "free" extras I toss into my meals and working on reducing my subs and making sure I keep them to 1-2 ingredient foods rather than multi ingredient (even if they are "clean") foods. I am halfway through my second week on my new workout plan and I am loving it so much! Somedays I feel like a total badass with what I can push/pull as far as weight goes. I'm a tiny little thing and even in a deficit I am still getting stronger and making gains in the gym, which is absolutely amazing! I did attempt to give up coffee, that lasted for a week. I didn't miss it except that well it helped keep me regular, so coffee went back in my diet and I am back to limiting how much I allow myself to drink daily. I have noticed I am becoming more emotional, more sensitive to criticism and being told I am skinny. I've been "skinny" and this is not it! I am muscular, soft, and lean and most of all I am healthy. Skinny is not healthy, fit is healthy and I am fit. That's a lot of paragraphs starting with "I", I'm becoming very me-centric. hmm.

Things are getting crazy up in here

I seem to go through massive spurts of blogging and then no blogging at all. I always say I am going to make it a habit and then I don't! Not even going to bother saying that today ;) Since I last posted I decided to 1-compete on stage in the bikini edition of body building 2-become a certified nutrition specialist and personal trainer. Here is what has happened so far . . . I am currently 10 weeks 5 days out from my very first competition. I am scared beyond measure as this takes me so far out of my comfort zone I can't even see it! I am also extremely excited, not just over the experience of something new but the levels I will be taking my body to. The transformation thus far has been nothing short of amazing. I did become a fitness nutrition specialist through NASM and then went on to become a certified Dr Sears LEAN coach. I then started my own online nutrition/meal planning business which I am loving so much! Since I wanted to also offer fitness plans and I am not yet certified in that area I took on a partner with my bestest buffy, Sarah B. We've done pretty well so far and our clients are seeing some great results! Just a few more days and I can get started on my CPT through NASM too :-) Oh and then of course there is all of the stuff I have to do to get ready for this competition. It's kind of mind blowing and overwhelming at times so I have been doing one thing at a time and slowly putting the pieces of the puzzle together. This is where my body was at 2 weeks ago, I need to take new pics asap! The upper body is pretty much ready, just need to get the lower body to cooperate and tighten up. Overall I am happy with where I am at but notsomuch when it comes to being stage ready. I know it'll get there though, I have an amazing coach!

Vegan Shakeology

I admit, I am leery about how something will taste when it's called vegan. I have had some very unpleasant tasting experiences that just leave me gun shy! I have been hearing about Vegan Shakeology since June of 2011 and knew some friends who had gotten to try it long before it was released. Everyone said it tasted great but . . . I still wondered.

Beachbody finally released their Tropical Strawberry Vegan Shakeology on Valentine's day and my box arrived just 3 long days later. This was a highly anticipated arrival as TBB had really been hyping up this new flavor and formula. On the day my shakes arrived I immediately ran to the kitchen and blended one up. I kept it simple, water and frozen strawberries, so I would get the full effect of the flavor.

Oh sweet heaven! It was briliant! Now don't get me wrong I do love chocolate but after going almost totally sugar free and eating very clean it just tasted a bit too sweet and thick for me lately. The greenberry is definitely an acquired taste but had really been my go to over the past few weeks since it's much lighter in flavor and not so sweet. Tropical Shakeology blows those two out of the water. It's texture can be a little gritty but regardless it is light and perfectly sweet yet not sweet and doesn't have that overpowering thickness that the chocolate can get.

To celebrate, for the next week I am offering a Free Sample! To receive one simply go to my BeachBody website and sign up for the FREE account. After you have done so send me an email with your address. It's that easy :)

Motivation

I recently read a post by a woman who was crying out for motivation. She wanted other people to motivate her to lose weight and exercise. I see this kind of thing all.the.time. People are always looking for motivation from outside sources.

I am going to be honest and say this, NO ONE can find your motivation. NO ONE can motivate you to do what it is you *think* you need/want to do. Motivation? It's inside you! The only person who can motivate you is YOU. Either you want it or you don't. If you want it you will do it and achieve it. If you don't you will find excuses and seek motivation from others.

Now I do understand this frame of mind. Sometimes I just don't feel like eating this meal or going to the gym or whatever it is I am procrastinating. I'll say "someone please kick me in the butt, I need a little extra push today" But I know the only person who is actually going to kick me in the butt and give me that extra push is me. Why? It's simple. I am doing this for me. Not for facebook friends, not for a contest, not for my husband, it's all for me. And if doing it for me isn't enough to find the motivation then nothing will.

Stop asking for motivation from others and find it in yourself. Seek inspiration from others and motivate yourself.